love Funny Status Messages

   has heard that love makes the world go round... but so does tequila!

   Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.

   I'm bored. Who wants to fall in love with me until they find someone better?

   can't seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.

   Day 12.. I haven't eaten apple in a week,, the doctors are slowly getting thru the barricade, I won't last very long, tell my family I love em

   Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks

   Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!

   The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

   I love Pandas, They're so chill. They're like "Dude, racism is stupid. I'm white, Black, & Asian..."

   I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

   I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after

   I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.

   My new girlfriend said a small d*ck shouldn't be a problem as long as we truly love each other. This was right before she showed it to me.

   Honestly, I love every single some of you.

   Respect to the women who loved us at our worst when we had nothing, women who patiently watched us grow from boys to men, helped us work for everything we have today, blessed us with love, support and loyalty and never asked for anything in return.

   haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

   Don't you just love it when someone owes you money and posts that they just bought some luxury item for themselves.

   Love is a sacred thing meant just for two. But there's always that one slut who doesn't know how to count.

   I Love when my Friends help to Identify themselves as Technologically-Retarded Idiots by changing their Status to: "WOW I cant believe that you can see who is viewing your Profile!"...

   I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"