Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4834 of 6382
the fact that she loves anal is awesome...I just wish she'd layoff the hot peppers!
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04-23-2012 14:58 by MDS
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Electrolux - Teaching women their place for over 50 years
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03-08-2011 04:42
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My neighbor must have not paid her internet bill. I can't get on the internet.
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06-26-2011 01:07 by Rick H.
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I bought an anti bullying wrist band today...I say bought I actually stole it of a fat ginger kid
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09-01-2011 18:31 by ben alan
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Did anyone else see Gary Busey get married this morning?
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04-29-2011 11:54 by BOO
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Just saw a holstein on a church lawn....holy cow!
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06-28-2011 03:55
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When the angels ask what I loved most about life, I'll say you.
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07-24-2011 15:33 by L
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I hate when I sleep on my arm by accident, and waking up in the middle of the night not being able to feel it
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08-01-2011 04:38
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Lawyer to Mickey: Sorry Mickey I can't divorce you from Minnie because she has big teeth.......Mickey to Lawyer: Sir, That's not what I meant when I said she was f*cking Goofy!!
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08-05-2011 13:51
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You know when you say "that thinga-ma-bob"? Does Bob say "that-thinga-ma-me" and when I'm talking to Bob should I say "that-things-ma-you"? In a proper setting is it "that-thinga-ma-Robert"? If 2 guys named Bob are together, do they say "that-thinga-ma-u
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08-12-2009 20:59
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Weather you want to face it or not heaven is real
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12-14-2014 01:30
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Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
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03-12-2013 13:26 by Baddie
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Voted. Now, I watch and wait to see which loser wins.
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11-06-2012 09:58
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"Scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the middle ages." They’re calling it “Religion.”
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01-14-2015 15:45
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Fun Fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, "Marco" and then an even fainter, "Polo."
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02-25-2021 17:05 by JCGJ
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thinking bush doubled out debt it 8 years......obama will double that in 2! good job america!!
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03-30-2010 13:25
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Does anyone know where I can get more Lite-Brite pegs?... I'm trying to finish my Will and Testament.
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11-24-2021 16:10 by JCGJ
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Religion is a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.
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10-26-2010 19:21
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I set my phone to airplane mode. It just now tried to charge me 20 bucks for a bag of peanuts and a Sprite.
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03-02-2023 06:57
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Over the past 15-years, Donald Trump has paid more for sex than he did in taxes.
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09-28-2020 09:24
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