Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Unemployment is down, deficit shrinking, home values up, stock market thru the roof…so the right needs to make up some Scandals!!

   "A Deficit... really? ... What do you mean we're overdrawn? .. can't be... I have checks left" -- President O'Bama

   Why is the FONT so small on Facebook all of the sudden. I see the Republicans have started with their nonsense already.

   ell your wife her butt looks big in those jeans. Live a little.. Life is too short!

   Obama slogan went from " Yes We Can" to " Thought We Could".

   We all know Obama isn't a natural born citizen, but did they have to send the obnoxious guy with the ferret on his head to tackle this issue?

   How come when old people get free health care it is called something nice like medicare, but when everybody gets it they call it communism?

   Happy Earth Day. Please keep it clean. After all.... it's not Uranus!!!

   Arkansas just passed a law allowing people to caring guns in church. If you need a gun in church, I don't even want to hear what you believe in for a God.

   thinking men should come with carfax and a UPS label for an easy return.

   ..believes so strongly in reincarnation that she's written a will and left everything to herself..

   Dear Mario, I wested my childhood just to save your Girlfriend!

   Regular a** (_!_) fat a** (__!__) tight a** (!) dumba** (_?_)

   wondering if a bra is called an over the sholder bolder holder then what is mens underwear under the but nut hut?

   To the person who said "God didnt put tattoos" on Amy Winehouse, God didnt make haircolor either, but Ms Clairol isnt going to hell. Ignorant moron.

   our economy has Dow Syndrome

   #ThatMomentOfPanic when they realized he was really the son of God

   Me and my girl roleplay in the bedroom, she pretends she's Catwoman and I pretend I love her

   i just found a web site where you can see women with no clothes on not even underwear! brb!

   I heard the black box was found. Oprah spread her legs for Dr. Phil.