Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4810 of 6369
Some people are weak and can't handle life so they turn to drugs. Some turn to religion.
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05-10-2015 06:53
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Oh, you want a free college education? Please tell me how serious you took your free high school education.
This would look ALOT better in the toilet” -toddlers
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03-02-2023 05:52
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Sorry, quoting bible scriptures to me isnt going to convince me. I could quote "Stars Wars" or "Twilight" and it would be just as profound.
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05-20-2010 16:15 by Tracy
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Order a pizza from Papa Johns today NATIONWIDE-- they are making a donation to the families of the four fallen police officers in Lakewood (WA) - all pizzas sold on Tuesday, Dec. 8 and Wednesday, Dec. 9. ALL proceeds to a trust for their nine children
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12-09-2009 08:13 by Fel
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"going to jail, directly to jail. She is not passing go. She is not collecting $200"
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05-10-2008 11:59
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filled with corn syrup, artificial ingredients and regret
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11-13-2009 12:13 by Suzanne
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throwing the new MySpace Profile out with the trash where it belongs :)
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08-26-2010 14:25 by David
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It's not warm in the car; you're rolling down the window because you farted.
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09-14-2010 16:44 by Brades
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if you think being weak is meak, try being meak for a week
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09-27-2010 02:03
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Blame someone else and get on with your life.
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09-30-2010 01:59
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a cop owning a doughnut shop, it makes perfect sense, cut out the middle man...
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10-01-2010 11:48
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As the first chilean miner came to the surface he was quick to celebrate his 'rock paper scissors' championship 2010.
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10-13-2010 08:27
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I cannot be held responsible for anything you may have told me before I had my coffee.
I've always been suspicious of people who operate their Christmas lights after New Years day.
“Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.” - Mark Twain
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01-06-2011 14:41 by Bill
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My eighty year old neighbor neither agreed with or could conceive the foreign idea of the “I before E” rule isn't that weird .
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01-08-2011 15:54
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it me or does that guy with the golden voice look like mac tonight ?
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01-17-2011 14:20
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just saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, should have been called Scott Pilgrim Vs. The IRS; because the rate of money they lost I expect he will be fighting them off for years.
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01-26-2011 19:22
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According to all the forwards I received and never re-forwarded since I've been on the net, I will die 238 times and will have bad luck for 896 years
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10-22-2010 08:00 by Smack
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