Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   DOES TRUMP ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING besides watch TV, play golf and tweet?

   Atheists - 2 Harold Camping - 0

   Hey! It's called facebook, a social networking site, NOT faithbook, a cram your religious beliefs down my throat site. Hiding!

   Religion is a crutch for weak-minded people who can't accept reality

   Am I being picky when I say "Please leave 'Christ' in Christmas"? I know it's a little thing, but, by writing 'X-mas' it seems to me that we are taking out the whole reason we even celebrate this holiday just to save a few key strokes . Just my opinion of

   Get an education. Global warming/climate change is indicated by extremes. Unusual, extrem heat waves, droughts, hurricane season, sunamus, tornadoes, cold weather systems, blizzards, etc.

   The bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range

   gunna dress up as kanye west for halloween and go around telling people " ima letchu get back to trick or treatin in a minute but, barrack obamas daughters have the best halloween costumes of all time, of all time!!!"

   n't making any New Year's resolutions. I'm still working on the ones from 2003.

   I wish I was made up of 5 midgets, like a human Voltron.

   YAY! I just won Australia's Next Top Model.... no wait, they was a mistake? How could this happen?

   I befriended Tom from Myspace on Facebook lol

   just got a painting of David Carradine and I hung it in my closet.

   The Duck Dynasty guys need to to look in their beards, I'm sure there's a few ducks in them...

   Do you ever wake up and just say "nope" and then roll over and go back to sleep

   I'm just a regular guy, I boil my spaghetti one noodle at a time.

   Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

   Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse...

   I wish I was in a gang, I never know what to do with my hands when taking pictures.

   Oven = Xbox for women.