Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I wonder how people would react if I walked into Sea World with a fishing pole.

   Girls who are shaped like hot pockets have no business taking full body pictures.

   Only users lose drugs!

   Ladies: If he is only interested in your breasts, legs and thighs send him to KFC. Don't be his value meal.

   My sleep number is 2...bong rips

   I wonder if Stevie Wonder knows he's black?

   Dear Facebook: You keep offering up people for me to "friend", but then you get all concerned and ask me how I know them. You can't be the pimp and the cop!

   Claiming my heart back, wrapping it up in aluminum foil and putting it back in the freezer. You dig?

   What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch,,,,,,,,,NAMES

   Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

   The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...

   My neighbor's kids are named Maximus and Commodus. Either the couple is Greek, or they smoke ALOT of Crack.

   logged into your facebook account and sending friend requests to transexuals

   Meaning of Internet fagget according To urban dictonary last I checked is Someone that acts Tough on internet sites but cant back any thing in real life

   But what was he doing the first one who subscribed to Facebook?

   People spend their entire lives waiting for their ship to arrive, not realizing that they are in fact standing in an airport

   wondering what idiot put a silent "t" in the word "listen"?

   Heroine killed the curiosity cat.....

   just watched World Cup Highlights of all the goals scored. That's 43 seconds of my life I will never get back!

   I bet you're one of those people who take speed limit signs seriously.