Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro is reportedly a huge fan of President Obama and thinks he'd doing a great job. Boy, Obama hasn't had PR this good since the Rev. Wright was campaigning for him. Maybe he can get Gaddafi to say something nice too.

   Sexy,Single and ready to mingle!!!

   If girls are made of sugar and spice, how come they taste like anchovies?

   Obama was only elected so they could blame the black guy !!! mmm hmm <finger snap and head bop with attitude>

   just heard Weird Al just faked his own death.

   Religious girls are easy, once I convince them I'm god

   Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will be starring on everyone's TV sets very soon

   How to solve all the children crossing the southern border illegally, put all the registered sex offenders and pedifiles there to give them candy and greet them!

   If you are voting for Donald Trump for President in 2016, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it, you're an idiot.

   S(he) (is) Br(ok)en.

   And the defense of the sinners shall part like the red sea when he, the chosen one, drives his team to victory. Book Of Tebow 3:25

   likes huge ( . )Y( . )

   I stepped on a corn flake, now I'm a cereal killer!

   just taught my 4 year old son how to make stick people out of tampons

   Some people want to do crazy things and green amphibians we just want to have good time! Some people go woo they go quack quack some people nothing and want nothing and arent free, some people want to burn the world with greed, we just want good time!

   My friends keep saying that they wish there was a "dislike" button on Facebook. Personally, I would have a lot more fun with a "That's what she said" button

   wants to be Oprah"s secret half sister!

   You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.

   2 word's boys hate the most "dont" and "stop"...lets put them together instead!

   if you're single and unhappy, try being married!