Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Today marks the 98th celebration of International Womens Day... It only took them 240+ years to perfect the sandwich from when it was invented.

   Koran has been remixed more times than Madonna.

   Bruce Jenner comes out as a transgender Republican and trolls on both sides suddenly don't know how to direct their hate.

   One, two Freddys coming for you. Three, four better lock your door. Five, six grab your crucifix. Seven, eight gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again...

   No matter what race you're, if you have an ounce of human decency in you, you should find Donald Trump to be a repugnant . A real POS.

   Love is when she throats you so deep she throws up on you, composes herself, then keeps going. She only regrets she had to stop for a moment.

   I'd like to get one thing straight....My Son.

   My son just told me a joke. So here it is, tell me what you think. Why do midgets laugh when they run?? Cause the grass tickles their balls.

   Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro is reportedly a huge fan of President Obama and thinks he'd doing a great job. Boy, Obama hasn't had PR this good since the Rev. Wright was campaigning for him. Maybe he can get Gaddafi to say something nice too.

   Sexy,Single and ready to mingle!!!

   If girls are made of sugar and spice, how come they taste like anchovies?

   Obama was only elected so they could blame the black guy !!! mmm hmm <finger snap and head bop with attitude>

   just heard Weird Al just faked his own death.

   Religious girls are easy, once I convince them I'm god

   Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will be starring on everyone's TV sets very soon

   How to solve all the children crossing the southern border illegally, put all the registered sex offenders and pedifiles there to give them candy and greet them!

   If you are voting for Donald Trump for President in 2016, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it, you're an idiot.

   S(he) (is) Br(ok)en.

   And the defense of the sinners shall part like the red sea when he, the chosen one, drives his team to victory. Book Of Tebow 3:25

   likes huge ( . )Y( . )