Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4687 of 6370
And the defense of the sinners shall part like the red sea when he, the chosen one, drives his team to victory. Book Of Tebow 3:25
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01-08-2012 20:30 by migasjoe
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likes huge ( . )Y( . )
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08-05-2009 16:57
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not the droid you're looking for.
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10-11-2007 01:01 by TJ
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.
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10-17-2009 15:14 by @bigger23
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2 word's boys hate the most "dont" and "stop"...lets put them together instead!
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11-03-2009 15:50
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if you're single and unhappy, try being married!
loves playing "who can use the least amount of toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll" game....
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02-01-2010 22:13
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if paper beats rock, then let me throw a rock at you while you hold up a piece of paper.
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03-13-2010 19:15 by Sarii
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My friends keep saying that they wish there was a "dislike" button on Facebook. Personally, I would have a lot more fun with a "That's what she said" button
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12-15-2010 10:06
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wants to be Oprah"s secret half sister!
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01-25-2011 00:13 by Maureen
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I stepped on a corn flake, now I'm a cereal killer!
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09-19-2010 04:32 by Manni
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just taught my 4 year old son how to make stick people out of tampons
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09-19-2010 17:31
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Some people want to do crazy things and green amphibians we just want to have good time! Some people go woo they go quack quack some people nothing and want nothing and arent free, some people want to burn the world with greed, we just want good time!
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06-29-2010 00:10
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thinks Google Maps needs an "Avoid Ghetto" option.
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03-16-2012 04:00 by Zinc
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To reality check , sorry for not being up on Buick stock like you ... don't care .. as far as Tiger ..again ..don't care .. You take this crap seriously , don't you .. man , please go get laid !!!
My mom said to me "Guess whose washing the dishes tonight?!"...I Soulja boyd her & said "YOUUUUUUUUUU!"
Of course Trump hasn't doesn't pay taxes... He knows ALL the good loopholes,, Like, "Mail order brides are tax deductible"
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10-04-2016 13:12 by Snotty
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The odds that Trump will get a fair shake from the corned beef pickle munching media are about as good as the odds I'll get a Justin Bieber tattoo in the small of my back!
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02-17-2017 17:46
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If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions. I know that now.
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11-07-2017 11:52
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If Trump becomes President, maybe theres a chance I can use my Trump University degree to finally get a job.
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03-30-2016 02:52
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