Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4679 of 6373
thinks it would be cool if Oprah would give audience members a free Winnebago, a gift-card to Walmart, and a thong with an big "O" on it.
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09-19-2010 03:37
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why do boogers hang on to your finger like their life depended on it.
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10-08-2010 18:54
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Over/Under - Brett Farve: 70 sexting messages to NY woman while in town.
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10-11-2010 11:25 by Bill
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People are posting all their feelings on facebook; well you wanna know what I'm feeling… I don't wanna hear about your sh*t!!!
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04-26-2010 23:12
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I could never own a Jaguar because I'm embarrassed to pronounce it like the D-Bags that own them do.
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04-28-2010 21:08
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has turned on Airplane mode on his Palm Pre, but so far it hasn't taken off.
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05-03-2010 19:40 by Joser
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I bet the last song LIL WAYNE wants to hear in prison is LICK IT LIKE A LOLLIPOP
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05-04-2010 17:08
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changed his profile picture. Now I look a little less ugly
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05-27-2010 21:55 by BEGO
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I think that all I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
thinks farmville is o.k. but pharmville is a blast.
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06-10-2010 10:31 by chuckg
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I'm on this insane diet. So far, I've lost my mind.
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06-14-2010 19:13 by Joser
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The clean up in the Gulf is going well. My seabass I ordered was a quart low.
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06-19-2010 00:15
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Dear Friday: You have been gone all week, no visit, no call, no nothing. For some reason your absense doesn't bother me, I am glad to see you again...so is my liver, Cheers!
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06-20-2010 10:06 by Charlie
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Don't forget to proudly wave our American flags made in China today..
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07-04-2017 08:34 by JayMoney
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Donald Trump's spokesperson, Katrina Pierson, is now comparing him to Walt Disney and Henry Ford. Two of the most famous Nazi sympathizers.
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06-22-2016 23:54
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If Republicans didn't insist on upholding their "Proud Tradition of Failure to do their JOB" ... Perhaps this country wouldn't be in such a sad state of affairs. They were elected to do one thing then proceeded to do another ..... SHEESH
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07-10-2016 17:53
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Donald Trump wants to keep us in suspense about the survival of our democracy and orderly change of government.... I can't wait!
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10-20-2016 17:40 by snotty
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If Meth could stand up straight, put on dirty clothes, take drugs, date its cousin and sing crappy music, it would look like Kid Rock.
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12-04-2019 00:04
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Trump: all these women outside Aide: Sir? Trump: I have my scores ready. When is the swimsuit competition?
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01-22-2017 09:48
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I think this lunatic POTUS just needs to get laid. Can someone convince a Melania to take on for the Country?
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03-29-2017 11:38
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