Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4637 of 6384
I hate it when someone says 'Get on my level', cause how do I know what level you're on? Do I go up or down? Because I'm on level 78.
←Rate |
04-05-2013 13:07
Comments (0)
Hitting the snooze button is like hitting the “Next Episode” button on Netflix… it’s going to happen at least 3 times.
←Rate |
04-05-2013 20:50 by BEGO
Comments (0)
Trying to fight my way out of a paper bag. Gonna make it best two out of three.
←Rate |
04-06-2013 13:29
Comments (0)
You know I have friend-zoned you when I call you "Sister" and we are not even related.
←Rate |
07-18-2012 02:07
Comments (0)
Bed (n) – a workbench for lovers
←Rate |
07-20-2012 03:17
Comments (0)
what good is my android when my toilets in a dead zone
←Rate |
08-08-2012 12:51
Comments (0)
Spent a week on a dating website. Apparently “LOL” is the new “I'm too stupid to have real thoughts…”
←Rate |
08-18-2012 08:58
Comments (0)
I've tried listening, comforting and giving concrete solutions to your problem. Nothing worked. Is it me or your endless PMS?
←Rate |
09-06-2012 13:17
Comments (0)
Flying free & wrecklesly, Til someone picked up the fly swatter!
←Rate |
09-10-2012 11:29 by tr
Comments (0)
I sure am hungry. I wonder if Chili's has an app for that??
←Rate |
10-06-2012 12:58
Comments (0)
Does that grudge come in all ages or is it one size fits all?
←Rate |
10-07-2012 08:38
Comments (0)
The only pain that brings my soul to its knees is hers.
←Rate |
10-17-2012 14:17 by BEGO
Comments (0)
If Mariah Carey can give birth to twins and still reclaim her toned tummy, surrely I can also get rid of this holiday season beer gut and reclaim my six pack.
←Rate |
01-08-2013 11:39
Comments (0)
I like big brains and I can not lie.
←Rate |
01-08-2013 13:04 by Baddie
Comments (0)
FYI: Every year the Justice League puts kryptonite candles on Superman's birthday cake,, just to fool him into thinking he's getting too old..
←Rate |
01-23-2013 11:05 by snotty
Comments (0)
The vastness that is the universe is within everyone's grasp, if they but only have the vision to see beyond its infinite yet attainable horizons.(I wanted to see how full of it I could get)
Maybe someone stole her phone, that's why she hasn't called me in 3 years. Yeah I'm sure that's what it is.
←Rate |
07-05-2013 12:35
Comments (0)
It's a beautiful day to dwell on the past and blame yourself for things out of your control.
←Rate |
07-07-2013 18:35
Comments (0)
i dont know what makes you stupid, but it works really well.
I must be amazing at chatting online; everytime I talk to a girl I leave her speechless.
←Rate |
08-10-2013 10:39 by pimpjuice
Comments (0)