Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ...Demi & Ashton tweet about doing master cleanse diet. Can't wait to see the pic of his 1st bowel movement taken w/the Nikon CoolPix camera... lol!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 14:08 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever somebody says "Stop Laughing! It's not funny you guys" means "It's funny, just lets please laugh about it later"
←Rate | 08-16-2010 21:18 by Dylan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently 2010 is not the year for Miners.....
←Rate | 11-19-2010 10:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon at home on White Wednesday.....just sayin
←Rate | 11-24-2010 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon feels sorry for people who are on trial. Their future is put into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
←Rate | 11-28-2010 05:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon never make eye-contact with anyone while eating a banana
←Rate | 11-15-2010 21:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
←Rate | 11-26-2010 13:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon (̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅ _̅_̅_̅() ڪے one of my weaknesses.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 16:49 by mye_ash617 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are designed for two things: making babies and making sandwiches, and they need help with the first one.
←Rate | 05-04-2012 21:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... Ever notice how most womens problems begin with men???
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:16 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon 80's rock group Starship shocked after hearing the President's speech to find that they didn't build that city on rock and roll, someone else did.
←Rate | 07-27-2012 18:09 by Chuck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's piano? Neither has he.
←Rate | 05-07-2011 20:45 by @twittername Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my women like I like my dogs. Obedient, loyal, and always licking ...
←Rate | 10-11-2011 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was religious.... right up until about the age of reason.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 13:05 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Arguing on Facebook is like running in the special Olympic, even if you win you are still retarded
←Rate | 11-16-2011 01:57 by ro Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Obamacare website doesn't work, just like most of the people who voted for Obama.
←Rate | 11-19-2013 13:38 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon The Definition Of Toilets: The one and only thing Obama is qualified to do, is clean toilets. . .
←Rate | 11-18-2015 11:29 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon .menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... ever notice how most womens probIems begin with men?
←Rate | 01-09-2010 05:58 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I have a dream" - Martin Luther King jr "I have a drone" - Barrack Hussein Obama
←Rate | 01-21-2014 08:58 by JEBI Comments (1)  


   messageicon What do you get when you toss a ball into a cage full of monkeys? NBA
←Rate | 02-28-2012 13:14 by Canadian25 Comments (0)  




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