Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4602 of 6446

...Demi & Ashton tweet about doing master cleanse diet. Can't wait to see the pic of his 1st bowel movement taken w/the Nikon CoolPix camera... lol!

whenever somebody says "Stop Laughing! It's not funny you guys" means "It's funny, just lets please laugh about it later"
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08-16-2010 21:18 by Dylan
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Apparently 2010 is not the year for Miners.....
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11-19-2010 10:21
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at home on White Wednesday.....just sayin
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11-24-2010 22:54
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feels sorry for people who are on trial. Their future is put into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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11-28-2010 05:49
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never make eye-contact with anyone while eating a banana
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11-15-2010 21:53
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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
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11-26-2010 13:53
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(̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅ _̅_̅_̅() ڪے one of my weaknesses.

Women are designed for two things: making babies and making sandwiches, and they need help with the first one.
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05-04-2012 21:08 by BEGO
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Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... Ever notice how most womens problems begin with men???
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02-10-2012 07:16 by XX-FOXY
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80's rock group Starship shocked after hearing the President's speech to find that they didn't build that city on rock and roll, someone else did.
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07-27-2012 18:09 by Chuck
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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's piano? Neither has he.

I like my women like I like my dogs. Obedient, loyal, and always licking ...
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10-11-2011 15:17
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I was religious.... right up until about the age of reason.
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12-17-2010 13:05
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Arguing on Facebook is like running in the special Olympic, even if you win you are still retarded
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11-16-2011 01:57 by ro
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The Obamacare website doesn't work, just like most of the people who voted for Obama.
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11-19-2013 13:38 by HiYourJon
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The Definition Of Toilets: The one and only thing Obama is qualified to do, is clean toilets. . .
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11-18-2015 11:29 by JAB
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.menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... ever notice how most womens probIems begin with men?

"I have a dream" - Martin Luther King jr "I have a drone" - Barrack Hussein Obama
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01-21-2014 08:58 by JEBI
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What do you get when you toss a ball into a cage full of monkeys? NBA