Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4594 of 6384
America: We blow sh*t up better than the rest of yous funny-talkin' countries.
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07-05-2010 13:37 by Joser
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got the power
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10-28-2008 19:55
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Judge: "how do you plead?" Me: "your honor I plead oopsie daisies."
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07-03-2020 11:50 by JCGJ
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i bet evry person that has ever been on The Maury Povich Show voted for Obama.
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11-30-2012 19:57
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For all that don't know yet " Batman DIES in the New Movie " your welcome.
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07-14-2012 02:01 by Das
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on the verge of a psychotic breakdown
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02-04-2009 12:05 by Pjl
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heard that the new George W Bush book is a pop-up picture book. At first I laughed, then I realized it made perfect sense. My professors always taught me "write for your audience". So kudos Gdub. Mission accomplished...
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11-11-2010 16:50
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I wish for once they'd kill that Harry Potter.
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11-18-2010 11:46 by Rick
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kinda paranoid knowing that "therapist" looks exactly like "the rapist"
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11-20-2010 12:22 by The Sheep
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I know Canadians are generally boring people, but canadian25 you need to be arrested and charged with killing funny on this platform.
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01-05-2012 01:37
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Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap? Hells Bells! I must say, I'm Thunderstruck. I know it's a Long Way To The Top, and if You Want Blood, you'd better Shoot To Thrill with a Big Gun, but still he must have some Big Balls. I guess Money Talks...
I made a poem for my coworkers.. " Don't bother me at lunch,,, Don't bother me at lunch... Don't bother me at lunch... Don't bother me at lunch.."
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11-15-2014 11:32 by snotty
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Hey airlines; how 'bout you seat all the heavyweights in the same rows? I only got to sit in half the seat I paid for today!
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06-08-2014 21:19
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I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
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09-26-2021 19:31
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Confucius Say: Girl who go on fishing trip with 6 men, come back with red snapper.
Confucius Say: Girl who go on fishing trip with 6 men, come back with red snapper.
I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance. Is there something dirty about car insurance we should know about?
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03-18-2023 05:58
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Used To Be Schizophrenic? But They're OK Now.
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08-17-2008 06:43 by Ade
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President Obama is asking if they can build a statue of Manny Pacquiao to scare off Mexicans from crossing the US border!
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11-14-2010 05:06
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why hasn't there been a woman on the moon yet? cause it does not need cleaning yet!