Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon There are two types of girls in the world: my mom and sluts...
←Rate | 12-01-2011 18:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twinkle twinkle is stupid sh!t, so can you please stop posting it
←Rate | 11-03-2011 16:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching for anyone complaining about the heat. I will copy your post and save it for winter. Then I WILL paste it to your profile with WHO IS HOT NOW when you are buried snow. OH you know who you are!
←Rate | 07-21-2011 17:48 by shoesan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fat Girls are good for two things. Heat in the cold and shade in the heat
←Rate | 10-20-2013 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin was paid 75,000 dollars for a speech at a California university last week. That works out to be about 25,000 dollars per coherent sentence.
←Rate | 07-17-2010 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got caught jerking off while sniffing my friends sister's panties yesterday.... Wouldn't have been so bad but she was still wearing them at the time. He went f*cking ballistic! Made the rest of her funeral very awkward for both of us.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:58 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard ove a million people attended Obamas inauguration and only 14 of them missed work!
←Rate | 01-22-2013 15:35 by ROMNEY Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bad, I heard Bush's new book was called 41. It is about his Dad, not his IQ.
←Rate | 11-15-2014 00:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fort Hood suffers tradegy again. Perhaps they should change it to Fort Suburbs.
←Rate | 04-02-2014 22:44 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon a World Cup soccer game is like watching a bunch of nerds in a night club... A bunch of guys trying their best, and nobody scores...
←Rate | 06-12-2010 11:35 by AMS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight, because of the presidents speech, me and the family of 13 have now converted to democrats.
←Rate | 08-16-2017 00:20 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Snow on da ground.... Snow on da ground... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground....look at ya now... car spinning 'round.... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground...
←Rate | 02-10-2010 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon coming to a theater near you!
←Rate | 11-25-2008 14:07 by Lizzar Comments (0)  


   messageicon Female driving instructors... The equivalent of a blind person teaching kids to read.
←Rate | 09-18-2010 09:54 by @clarkysj Comments (1)  


   messageicon I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic and I won't take "No" for an answer.
←Rate | 10-30-2011 11:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you don't like the way you were born, then try being born again
←Rate | 08-21-2012 09:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Obamas are on vacation. Someone send a cop car by the White House to make sure Biden wasn't left home alone.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 05:25 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon men only get their great ideas in bed because their plugged into a genius!
←Rate | 03-18-2012 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon happier than a retard with a sparkler
←Rate | 04-20-2012 16:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ̿ ̿̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ Say Hello To My Lilttle Frien ..!!!!
←Rate | 10-02-2010 19:03 Comments (0)  




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