Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4500 of 6446

There are two types of girls in the world: my mom and sluts...
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12-01-2011 18:47
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Twinkle twinkle is stupid sh!t, so can you please stop posting it
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11-03-2011 16:23
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I'm watching for anyone complaining about the heat. I will copy your post and save it for winter. Then I WILL paste it to your profile with WHO IS HOT NOW when you are buried snow. OH you know who you are!
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07-21-2011 17:48 by shoesan
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Fat Girls are good for two things. Heat in the cold and shade in the heat
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10-20-2013 11:37
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Sarah Palin was paid 75,000 dollars for a speech at a California university last week. That works out to be about 25,000 dollars per coherent sentence.
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07-17-2010 15:26
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Got caught jerking off while sniffing my friends sister's panties yesterday.... Wouldn't have been so bad but she was still wearing them at the time. He went f*cking ballistic! Made the rest of her funeral very awkward for both of us.
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12-07-2011 23:58 by g0re
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I heard ove a million people attended Obamas inauguration and only 14 of them missed work!
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01-22-2013 15:35 by ROMNEY
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My bad, I heard Bush's new book was called 41. It is about his Dad, not his IQ.
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11-15-2014 00:20
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Fort Hood suffers tradegy again. Perhaps they should change it to Fort Suburbs.
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04-02-2014 22:44 by indy dave
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a World Cup soccer game is like watching a bunch of nerds in a night club... A bunch of guys trying their best, and nobody scores...
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06-12-2010 11:35 by AMS
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Tonight, because of the presidents speech, me and the family of 13 have now converted to democrats.
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08-16-2017 00:20
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Snow on da ground.... Snow on da ground... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground....look at ya now... car spinning 'round.... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground...
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02-10-2010 10:15
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coming to a theater near you!
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11-25-2008 14:07 by Lizzar
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Female driving instructors... The equivalent of a blind person teaching kids to read.
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09-18-2010 09:54 by @clarkysj
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I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic and I won't take "No" for an answer.
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10-30-2011 11:40
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if you don't like the way you were born, then try being born again
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08-21-2012 09:37
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The Obamas are on vacation. Someone send a cop car by the White House to make sure Biden wasn't left home alone.
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10-19-2011 05:25 by Mick F
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men only get their great ideas in bed because their plugged into a genius!
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03-18-2012 15:02
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happier than a retard with a sparkler
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04-20-2012 16:06
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̿ ̿̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ Say Hello To My Lilttle Frien ..!!!!
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10-02-2010 19:03
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