Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Sometimes you got to talk to someone only once to realize why everyone else avoids them like a plague.
←Rate | 06-22-2013 05:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep your friends close but your cupcakes closer.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 20:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Canada D'eh! Now let's get drunk!
←Rate | 07-01-2013 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh well, this time isn't going to procrastinate itself.
←Rate | 07-02-2013 17:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are rubber duckies yellow when most real ducks are not?
←Rate | 07-03-2013 14:36 by Luka Comments (1)  


   messageicon Some people's desperation is so hard to watch, I'm forced to wear sunglasses while I laugh....
←Rate | 07-08-2013 08:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the #1 phrase that is guaranteed to make people argue is "what do you want to eat?"
←Rate | 07-12-2013 21:16 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate crickets in my house.....except for the one I just killed. He seems ok.
←Rate | 07-20-2013 23:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the new prince should be be called....`s greatest hits!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2013 02:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just fetched the first watermelon of the year from my garden, so I get it royal baby fans. I totally get that sh*t.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 12:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Better to have loved and lust, than to never have lusted at all.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see a beautiful woman with a fat ugly guy I think: ''maybe he owns a panda.''
←Rate | 07-26-2013 02:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't be wise and in love at the same time.
←Rate | 08-06-2013 12:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do we want? INDIFFERENCE! When do we want it? WHENEVER!
←Rate | 08-15-2013 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had some dear friends come to me questioning my morels... I'll come clean... I really don't know what kind of mushrooms these are...
←Rate | 08-23-2013 07:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's ironic.... but wouldn't you love to be......."Booby Trapped"
←Rate | 08-27-2013 05:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Granddad sure does love his baths - He's been in there for three days now.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 15:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes,, Grandchildren ARE our future,,, But they're ALSO the reason why there's a smooshed sandwich in my Pricey Blu-Ray player,,,,, Hmm, our future
←Rate | 07-27-2012 08:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Won a gold medal in the brolympics tonight for hooking up with the fat friend.
←Rate | 07-28-2012 08:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your electric bill is not an acceptable topic of conversation.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 14:22 Comments (0)  




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