Cory Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Today is national bring your flask to work day. I just made it up. Tell the others...
←Rate | 02-26-2015 12:16 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I'm having scrambled eegs
←Rate | 01-16-2014 17:54 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy that did Super Size Me should of done it during Monopoly month.
←Rate | 02-23-2011 16:30 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Friday! The only two who aren't excited about that are my bank account and my liver.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 19:50 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rock bottom hangover: I ordered pizza just to get soda delivered
←Rate | 01-11-2014 18:49 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actions speak louder than Facebook posts...
←Rate | 03-13-2014 17:23 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating is a lot like fishin'. Sometimes catch and release is the best method.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 15:46 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 14:05 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't die a virgin. Terrorist are up there waiting for you...
←Rate | 10-13-2013 21:46 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon R.I.P Brian Griffin. Family GUy won'y be the same without you...
←Rate | 11-25-2013 22:00 by Cory Comments (1)  


   messageicon Hands down best Budweiser commercial ever. God bless our troops!
←Rate | 02-02-2014 21:03 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gotta stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I'm beginning to feel like people are taking it as a challenge.
←Rate | 11-09-2013 16:20 by Cory Comments (4)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. Where I'm going, if I'll fall in love, what I want in life... Then I pull up my pants and flush the toilet.
←Rate | 06-27-2013 15:14 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life isn't like a box of chocolate. It's more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow..
←Rate | 10-20-2013 16:49 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only thing good about "good morning" is the breakfast tacos
←Rate | 04-08-2013 11:35 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the #1 phrase that is guaranteed to make people argue is "what do you want to eat?"
←Rate | 07-12-2013 21:16 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that every time I see a Ford, it's lifted? Well the answer is simple. When a man gets out of his Ford, he doesn't want to get his dress dirty...
←Rate | 03-15-2015 20:37 by Cory Comments (2)  


   messageicon Facebook should have a limit on how many selfies you can post in a day...
←Rate | 08-16-2014 14:58 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last time I checked, Chick-fil-A is still sellin chicken and I'm sure Phil Robertson will keep spreadin gods good word and shooting ducks.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 18:31 by Cory Comments (0)  


   messageicon Question of the day: If somebody threw a rock and knocked you off your donkey would be considered stoned of your a$$?
←Rate | 04-16-2014 21:28 by Cory Comments (1)  


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