Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4411 of 6446

Obama, I voted for you. I stay open minded on your views about education and health care even though I don't agree with everything. I am american and you're my president. Dude, you mess with my Xbox and iphone and that's it! You're off my friends list!
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05-10-2010 21:53
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The left will blame Donald T for all of Joe B's failures because it's easier than admitting they elected the wrong guy.
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02-01-2021 13:14 by Fazzy
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The law says I can't drive with an open container, but it says nothing about jello shots!
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06-20-2025 08:08
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Once you go Bl@ck you never go back. I sure hope that isn't the case with the President
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09-14-2012 13:55
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two wrongs don't make a right... but two Wrights make an airplane!
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04-21-2009 14:25
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Everyone don't forget to get out and vote. Tell all of your friends too. Republicans on Tuesday and Democrats on Wednesday.
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11-05-2012 18:21
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"I Hate or Can't Stand Drama" is translation for "I'm gonna be the first one to cause all the Drama Tonight, just thought I would give you the heads up!"

Bin Laden's wife has just changed her FB staus to single
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05-12-2011 10:12 by Bob
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very special day today... just for atheists... Happy Fool's Day!!
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04-01-2014 18:56
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Donald Trump go home you're drunk.
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06-17-2015 09:42 by Rollen
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Very opposed to the Ground Zero Mosque but only cuz I think we need a Ground Zero Chick-Fil-A first.
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08-27-2010 14:39 by geez
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I once dated a girl who's right leg was slightly longer than her left....I really do miss Eileen.
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10-19-2010 19:29 by johne
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If you leave your pets in the car with the windows rolled up, be sure to stop by the parking lot every 30 minutes or so to baste them...
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07-06-2010 13:58
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don't go for looks; looks can deceive. don't go for wealth; that can fade. go for the one who puts a smile on your face because a smile can make a dark day seem bright
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11-21-2009 06:21 by becca
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Casinos,steaks,universities,a brand of Vodka and now our country. Open your eyes people.
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05-13-2019 20:13
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Kony 2012. Great another Republican is joining the race for president.
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03-08-2012 21:13
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"You the bomb" "No, you the bomb" - A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east.
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12-29-2017 01:49 by trickz100
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I sure am glad Hillary didn't get elected because we'd still have Obamacare and be at war with Syria.

Melania Trump: "So if I marry the ugly Orange man......I'm a citizen...no?"
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07-21-2016 00:34
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Drake music be having you missing somebody else's ex.