Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   i have nothing against god, it's just his fan club that i'm against

   Obama, I voted for you. I stay open minded on your views about education and health care even though I don't agree with everything. I am american and you're my president. Dude, you mess with my Xbox and iphone and that's it! You're off my friends list!

   The left will blame Donald T for all of Joe B's failures because it's easier than admitting they elected the wrong guy.

   Once you go Bl@ck you never go back. I sure hope that isn't the case with the President

   two wrongs don't make a right... but two Wrights make an airplane!

   Everyone don't forget to get out and vote. Tell all of your friends too. Republicans on Tuesday and Democrats on Wednesday.

   "I Hate or Can't Stand Drama" is translation for "I'm gonna be the first one to cause all the Drama Tonight, just thought I would give you the heads up!"

   very special day today... just for atheists... Happy Fool's Day!!

   Bin Laden's wife has just changed her FB staus to single

   Very opposed to the Ground Zero Mosque but only cuz I think we need a Ground Zero Chick-Fil-A first.

   I once dated a girl who's right leg was slightly longer than her left....I really do miss Eileen.

   If you leave your pets in the car with the windows rolled up, be sure to stop by the parking lot every 30 minutes or so to baste them...

   don't go for looks; looks can deceive. don't go for wealth; that can fade. go for the one who puts a smile on your face because a smile can make a dark day seem bright

   Casinos,steaks,universities,a brand of Vodka and now our country. Open your eyes people.

   Donald Trump go home you're drunk.

   Kony 2012. Great another Republican is joining the race for president.

   "You the bomb" "No, you the bomb" - A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east.

   I sure am glad Hillary didn't get elected because we'd still have Obamacare and be at war with Syria.

   Melania Trump: "So if I marry the ugly Orange man......I'm a citizen...no?"

   Did you know that you can bite off your finger as easily as you can bite a carrot? But you're brain is like "No, don't eat your finger." So that's why you can't.