Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Obama, I voted for you. I stay open minded on your views about education and health care even though I don't agree with everything. I am american and you're my president. Dude, you mess with my Xbox and iphone and that's it! You're off my friends list!
←Rate | 05-10-2010 21:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The left will blame Donald T for all of Joe B's failures because it's easier than admitting they elected the wrong guy.
←Rate | 02-01-2021 13:14 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The law says I can't drive with an open container, but it says nothing about jello shots!
←Rate | 06-20-2025 08:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you go Bl@ck you never go back. I sure hope that isn't the case with the President
←Rate | 09-14-2012 13:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon two wrongs don't make a right... but two Wrights make an airplane!
←Rate | 04-21-2009 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone don't forget to get out and vote. Tell all of your friends too. Republicans on Tuesday and Democrats on Wednesday.
←Rate | 11-05-2012 18:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I Hate or Can't Stand Drama" is translation for "I'm gonna be the first one to cause all the Drama Tonight, just thought I would give you the heads up!"
←Rate | 08-30-2010 14:16 by DYLAN BOSCH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bin Laden's wife has just changed her FB staus to single
←Rate | 05-12-2011 10:12 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon very special day today... just for atheists... Happy Fool's Day!!
←Rate | 04-01-2014 18:56 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Donald Trump go home you're drunk.
←Rate | 06-17-2015 09:42 by Rollen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Very opposed to the Ground Zero Mosque but only cuz I think we need a Ground Zero Chick-Fil-A first.
←Rate | 08-27-2010 14:39 by geez Comments (1)  


   messageicon I once dated a girl who's right leg was slightly longer than her left....I really do miss Eileen.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 19:29 by johne Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you leave your pets in the car with the windows rolled up, be sure to stop by the parking lot every 30 minutes or so to baste them...
←Rate | 07-06-2010 13:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't go for looks; looks can deceive. don't go for wealth; that can fade. go for the one who puts a smile on your face because a smile can make a dark day seem bright
←Rate | 11-21-2009 06:21 by becca Comments (0)  


   messageicon Casinos,steaks,universities,a brand of Vodka and now our country. Open your eyes people.
←Rate | 05-13-2019 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kony 2012. Great another Republican is joining the race for president.
←Rate | 03-08-2012 21:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You the bomb" "No, you the bomb" - A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east.
←Rate | 12-29-2017 01:49 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sure am glad Hillary didn't get elected because we'd still have Obamacare and be at war with Syria.
←Rate | 04-08-2017 05:13 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon Melania Trump: "So if I marry the ugly Orange man......I'm a citizen...no?"
←Rate | 07-21-2016 00:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drake music be having you missing somebody else's ex.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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