Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   You KNOW the economy is bad when the dancers at this strip club are walking around with change belts. I guess it's time to make it HAIL on these b!tches!!

   The word of the day is..... SupercalifragilisticexpialiDOUCHBAG.

   Whenever a girl refers to me as "candy ass" I demand that she prove her theory by actually taste testing the product she is reviewing.

   My family's in the Iron and Steel buisness. My mother irons and my father steals.

   You put the ID in stupid.

   copying status's from many pages ago and re posting them in the hope people aint seen them before, in attempt to make myself look funny.

   Okay, I'll stop. But shouldn't I listen first, THEN collaborate?

   Lebron needs to start asking himself WWJD ( what would Jordan Do?)

   If they lined up all of your girlfriends it would look like the cast of planet of the apes

   Of course someone else packed my bags for me. What am I a peasant?

   someone ended a tweet to me with "STFU." I've no doubt they were referring to St. Fu the patron saint of long mustaches.

   Hardee's is shutting down its 32 franchises in Egypt. There's Hardee's in Egypt? No wonder they don't like us.

   If you're a cannibal does that make every fight a food fight?

   I think Franco was hanging with Sheen before the Oscars.

   going to Hawaii. I'm so excited. I havent been there since the last time I was there.

   If after many drinks she still looks ugly put a flag on her head and do it for your country.

   Life and Wife are two similar words ..... but if you have one, you can't have the other!!!

   I don't have regrets, I have times I was "just bein' Miley."

   I hope my CEO doesn't come here as the Undercover Boss cause I'd be like, "Ahh, don't worry about that mess. It'll be there tomorrow... BREAK TIME!"

   FIELD REPORT: "You gonna let me sniff that whisker biscuit or what?" is an extraordinarily unsuccessful pickup line.