Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   wonders what age I'll be when Obama's death panel deems me "no longer cost effective."

   An ISIS terrorist was temporarily detained at the US border, when his prayer rug was mistaken for a Confederate Flag.

   - Xbox and nintendo wii are both white and none of my credit card details were stolen by those. The ps3 on the other hand......

   My Daughter asked if I wanted to have a tea party, so I yelled at her & her dolls for 2 hours about how I don't want to pay taxes anymore.

   imagine if everytime you yawned .. a ghost was putting his pecker in yer mouth ..

   A guy walks into a bear and orders a drink. He didn’t notice my typo. Anyway, he’s dead now.

   Now that "Cocaine Bear" has been a hit and they are working on "Meth Alligator." I can't wait for the next installment, "Marijuana Sloth." A 7 hour slow-paced movie about a vicious Bradypus with the munchies for murder.

   happy Diwali ...the festival of lights (India)

   Rosa Parks never called SHOTGUN!!

   Maybe if these Wall Street protesters had put as much effort into making something out of themselves as they do protesting. They would be working on Wall Street.

   says I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!

   wondering when are guys gonna stop wearing their sisters faggety skinny jeans and wearing their hair in feminine haircuts?

   Obama has given a whole new meaning to the phrase: "Once you go black, you won't go back"

   If you're for gay marriage then you are also for hurting children. Kids need a mother and a father:not two dads or two moms. There is no arguing this fact.

   campaigning early... 'Anyone Else 2012'

   found Jesus! I spoke to him on the phone today and he lives in Hampstead, Florida and he works for Dish Network!

   I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'" --Bill Maher

   Everyone is the same color when the lights are off......

   I'm sorry but I dont understand some wh!te people...They are the only type of people I see in 20 degree weather wearing sock and sandels with shorts on acting like its f*ckin summertime..

   Im a little over the religious rants here...Adam and Eve had 2 sons...how did the world populate....seems like a scam to me!!