Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Maybe if these Wall Street protesters had put as much effort into making something out of themselves as they do protesting. They would be working on Wall Street.

   says I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!

   wondering when are guys gonna stop wearing their sisters faggety skinny jeans and wearing their hair in feminine haircuts?

   Obama has given a whole new meaning to the phrase: "Once you go black, you won't go back"

   If you're for gay marriage then you are also for hurting children. Kids need a mother and a father:not two dads or two moms. There is no arguing this fact.

   campaigning early... 'Anyone Else 2012'

   found Jesus! I spoke to him on the phone today and he lives in Hampstead, Florida and he works for Dish Network!

   s eating out.... At home. ;-)

   I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'" --Bill Maher

   Everyone is the same color when the lights are off......

   I'm sorry but I dont understand some wh!te people...They are the only type of people I see in 20 degree weather wearing sock and sandels with shorts on acting like its f*ckin summertime..

   Im a little over the religious rants here...Adam and Eve had 2 sons...how did the world populate....seems like a scam to me!!

   told my girlfriend .. "if you ever want to try anal sex, I'll be behind you all the way"!!

   Paul Walker .....starring in his most realistic performance yet ... "Fast and the Furious Fire 8, The Final Splat".

   Dear gym addicts, We don't care if it's leg day, chest day or arm day. Today is get a life day. Yours sincerely, The rest of the world

   more bars in more places.

   Silence Is golden, Duct tape is sliver

   Who's the biggest prostitute in history...Ms. Pacman...for 10 cents that slut swallowed balls till she died....

   I spend 90% of my time online waiting for password reset emails

   Easter, the day Jesus slapped YOLO in the face