love Funny Status Messages
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I've always had this fantasy to make love to two women......... Like, in the same year
You said you love spending time with your children. School Snow Days determined that was a lie.
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02-20-2015 11:00
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Heading to the polls to vote for the fifth time this week!!!!...... God I love living in the state of Florida!!!!
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11-06-2012 07:03 by FLA PAULY
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if you're feeling down about your love life, remember that salmon swim hundreds of miles upstream to jack-off on a pile of eggs and die
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02-15-2017 01:58
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We love taking our boys to adventure parks. It's a great way to spend $800 to listen to them complain about the weather and about how much they hate to stand in line.
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03-05-2020 06:25
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Me: You have a horrible memory ... Wife: Well, I guess that's why I still love you.
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07-26-2013 02:21
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To all my friends having a identity crisis, I love you, and you know who you are, I think?
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10-04-2017 13:15 by Moon
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I don't care what you say about Zombies. Zombies love you for your brain, not your beauty.
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03-30-2018 14:22
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love is out there, kinda like the zodiac killer is still out there too, so good luck.
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04-16-2018 15:14
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“I love you but I don’t trust you,” I say to my dog as I put cheese and crackers on the table.
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10-21-2020 06:11
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So I just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God I love my boobs.
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04-08-2011 18:55 by letsfly
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I love a Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
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11-26-2009 08:08 by Danmanz
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"Marriage" - Betting someone half your sh!t that you'll love them forever
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08-24-2011 20:07
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If someone says "I love you," and you don't feel the same way, say "I love Youtube" really fast.
I love Halloween because it's the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
I love when people cut me off because they're in a rush, then I pull up next to them at the same red light.
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12-21-2010 20:49
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thinks God will still love me if I don't annoy 15 of my friends with some stupid chain email.
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01-14-2010 08:15 by marymc
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If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
I would love to kill you with kindness,but all I have is this knife.
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02-28-2013 00:08
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So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.
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07-13-2011 21:10 by BEGO
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