Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
to all of my FB friends: I love you all and you are fabulous! Except for you #78; you are just an ass. You know who you are so don't even try to fake the funk... 
went to a doctor and got tested positive.. for being the shiittt!
Being in a relationship is not about kissing, dates or showing off. It's about being with the person who makes you happy.
Being a modest guy, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the lady at the desk, "I hope the p0rn channel in my room is disabled." She goes, "Nooooo, it's regular people-p0rn, you sick ba$tard.”
I wish I could help run a country into the ground and still take a 100,000 trip for my birthday.
I think Bill Belichick is the perfect coach to develop Tebow into an elite clipboard holder
10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.. Now we have like 50 million dumb guys still posting a bad joke over and over
Great Idea! Tiny headphones for pigeons who are self-conscious about their head bopping and want to make it look like they're listening to music.
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241543903- google it and tell me your not confused also
Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed.
If CN N told you the only cure of covid-19 is to jump off a bridge. Which bridge are yall going to choose...
My concerns with anything having to do with the Royal Family ended in 1776.
Michael J. Fox has friended and unfriended me 45 times in the last 30 seconds.
Egypt is burning. Let them deal with their own crazies. It is none of our business. We have enough problems back here in the US.
a Figment of your imagination
It's VERY magnanimous of Donald Trump to only take $1 in Presidential salary,, $1 seems Very small,, until you realize that's it's still more than he paid in taxes
over white knights on horses... Bring on the vampire in the volvo!!!
A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood.
We'll take down our Robert E. Lee statues when you take down your Martin Luther King statues. 