Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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selling his soul for a bag of skittles 
OBama: Tears of a clown!
A cure has been found for homosexuality. Lip balm - you rub it on your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away.
I believe in the sun even when it's night time, I believe in love even when I am yet to find it, I believe in God even when he is yet to answer my prayers, I believe in heaven even when I have been to hell and back.
Yea, gun control is awesome...if you're the one controlling the guns.
When it comes to towel-heads, I am with Donald Trump. These barbarians should not be allowed in a civilized society. They just stabbed people in Germany today.
Considering the fact that god is the creator of everything....Does that mean he's chinese then.... ??
...unreal gold medal hockey game...and a record breaking 14 Olympic golds....Canada is amazing..if we didn't have Nickelback we would be the best country in the world.
I dont know what you're doing, but I'm watching Fox News waiting for them to find a way to blame Obama for the earthquake...
Big Girls don't cry...(They eat)
Obama went to India, Indonesia, South Korea... and still hasn't found the birth certificate??
To the tune of the Folgers coffee commercial: The best part of waking up, is no tweets from Donald Trump.
The press can try to shove all that bIack BS down our throats all they want, but we're not swallowing any of it.
I carry a magnum sized condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper.... some day my prince will come
in your garden, peeing on your tomatoes...
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 F'in Muslims tried to ad me as a friend!
guesses Chris Brown sure taught Rihanna how to breathe with "no air"
"childish. No he's not, yes he is, no he's not, yes he is."
knew the aliens would let him go sometime.
Obamacare ~~ It's the healthcare 9 out of 10 illegal aliens recommend the most! 