My voicemail greeting is now a Justin Bieber song. if you can make it to the end of the song without hanging up then I’ll listen to the message, because obviously it’s important!
Debt collectors calling you? They dont call ME anymore after I answer the phone "Homicide, Detective Smith speaking, please give me your full name and direct affiliation with the victim who's phone you've just called." Problem solved!
Ya know those signs you see in towns that say, "Drive careful, we love our children?" Well DUH, you're not gonna see a sign that says, "GUN IT, WE'LL MAKE MORE!"