Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The election is rigged...unless I win

   The Fate of the Furious: mindless drivel supported by today's mindless moviegoers. Proving how easy it is nowadays to separate an idiot from his money.

   What do you call a guy who thinks women belong in the kitchen? Single.

   I haven’t seen the Democrats so angry since the Republicans took away their slaves

   Playing monopoly with a jew, a woman and a black person. It's very awkward because the black person is in jail, the woman is the iron and the jew is the banker

   You ever wonder how much more advanced this whole world would be IF we only had one religion AND racism never existed?

   Happy International Women's day to all the ladies!! Now MAKE ME A SANDWICH BEEYOTCH!

   There was just a 5.8 earthquake in Washington. Obama wanted it to be 3.4, but the Republicans wanted 5.8, so he compromised.

   I'll be Black you stay White here!

   are most of these anti trump people on welfare?

   Why does every BLACK joke start with the person looking over both shoulders and talking quiet?

   it turns out, is not a jedi :(

   I don't understand why g@y guys won't sleep with women. I mean they have butt-holes too.

   I think it's sick joke that companies are selling calendars for 2013. Anything to make a buck.

   When I die, the best tombstone I can hope for is "He was an ass hole, but he was a funny ass hole."

   Dear Kanye; if you really are Yeezus, raise your album out of my recycle bin.

   Record temps again tomorrow....If I can find a lemonade stand, I'll be on it like a hillbilly on his half-sister!

   Just saw a laundry soap advertisement showing how it can even remove dried up blood stains off of clothing. If you're clothing is covered in dried blood, I'm thinking that's not your biggest problem.

   I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

   What is it with blind people and walking their dogs?