Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Don't you hate it when people just randomly tag you in their Facebook post!?
←Rate | 09-21-2011 20:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why would you respect Sallie Mae when she's been screwing you and all college students for years?
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes I wish life was like golf...id call MULLIGAN on some moments
←Rate | 09-27-2011 00:02 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It might not be your birthday, but you need a spanking anyway...
←Rate | 10-09-2011 23:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon More SAD NEWS for the music industry: Soulja Boy is working on a new album.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 07:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes we struggle through a tasteless coffee till the last sip,then we find sugar lying at the bottom. -THAT'S LIFE Sweetened but not stirred well..!!
←Rate | 05-21-2011 21:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if there s a road less travelled... dont take it. you wont find beer.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 02:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont wish For a Happy ending It means Something has to end
←Rate | 02-03-2010 23:13 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon St. Patrick -- one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.
←Rate | 03-17-2010 10:05 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates that the jeopardy theme song is stuck in my head. Its giving me a false sense of anxiety!!
←Rate | 03-27-2010 01:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when it seems like god isnt answering ur prayers just remember that the teacher never talks during a test
←Rate | 07-06-2010 21:24 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Lying about my age is easier now that I sometimes forget what it is.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 14:40 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon the only thing about having bags under your eyes is that I can never find any shoes to match :(
←Rate | 07-22-2010 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon once had his Ex crawling toward him on her hands and knees. The thing is, he was under the bed hiding and she was crawling toward him screaming "Come out and fight like a man!"
←Rate | 08-10-2010 23:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inside me lives a skinny man crying to get out, but I can usually shut him up with cookies.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 21:40 by Mark McKibben Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I am sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead
←Rate | 09-03-2010 08:35 by Thrasher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to program my GPS to say "Right turn Clyde" whenever the right turn now arrow appears.
←Rate | 09-13-2010 11:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ahhhh...pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
←Rate | 09-15-2010 15:50 by Heather26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I felt anymore like crap, I'm sure I'd be sitting in a toilet getting ready to be flushed away.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 01:18 by EmmiKat Comments (0)  




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