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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says I see your creepiness level and raise you a disappearing act.
←Rate | 06-23-2012 10:12 Comments (0)

X Do dyslexic devil worshipers sell their soul to Santa?
←Rate | 06-23-2012 10:39 Comments (0)

X I wonder if everyone who pays 2 dollars to buy a bottle of Evian realize that backwards it spells naive
←Rate | 06-23-2012 10:40 Comments (0)

X I find it hilarious that only one company makes the game monopoly
←Rate | 06-23-2012 10:41 Comments (0)

X I bet dogs are saying "Where is our damn Abraham Lincoln? We are tired of these humans thinking they own us."
←Rate | 06-23-2012 10:52 Comments (0)

X says You know who was hurt the most in this whole ordeal by name association alone... the residents of Sandusky, Ohio... And the American workers at Callahan Auto... they make the best parts money can buy...
←Rate | 06-23-2012 11:25 by JaxWylde Comments (0)

X says Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is!!
←Rate | 06-23-2012 11:56 Comments (0)

X is Gas is dropping...we must have secured an oil rig in the middle east...
←Rate | 06-23-2012 12:25 by fadolo Comments (0)

X says May be we all should start a #RIPCharlieSheen trend. He'd be so drunk, It'll take him a while to realise he is not dead.
←Rate | 06-23-2012 12:27 by whysoerickay Comments (0)

X is thumbs up if you drive til the gas light come on
←Rate | 06-23-2012 12:28 by fadolo Comments (0)

X is Jerry Sandusky is about to go from tight end to wide receiver.
←Rate | 06-23-2012 12:35 Comments (0)

X Am I the only mother***king one who doesn't understand a f***king word that Katt Williams motherf***king says?
←Rate | 06-23-2012 12:41 Comments (0)

X is Jerry Sandusky will go from this (__*__) to this (__0__) very very soon!
←Rate | 06-23-2012 12:57 by Fast Eddie Comments (0)

X is Maybe Sandusky should've faked his death like Joe Pa to get out of trouble
←Rate | 06-23-2012 13:18 Comments (0)

X Siri's on her period. she needs an iPad
←Rate | 06-23-2012 13:27 by HiYourJon Comments (0)

X "Don't stop bereaving."..............Karaoke singer at a Japanese funeral..
←Rate | 06-23-2012 14:16 by snotty Comments (0)

X Full Disclosure: I stole all these words from the dictionary
←Rate | 06-23-2012 14:18 by snotty Comments (0)

X France shouldchange the color of it's flag to match it's football/soccer team.....all-white
←Rate | 06-23-2012 15:10 by Gil Comments (0)

X says HER: My dad thinks you're rude and inappropriate for me. ME: Screw your dad, there's people on Facebook who think I'm funny.
←Rate | 06-23-2012 15:24 Comments (0)

X says It's not my fault you didn't read my warning label.
←Rate | 06-23-2012 15:26 Comments (0)

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