Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If I place a call that is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes, I make sure to say mother%#&@er alot.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 15:41 by Ducky Comments (0)  

   messageicon Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor because I own Band-aids.
←Rate | 05-08-2012 21:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
←Rate | 01-08-2011 08:42 by Dany6814 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend
←Rate | 05-06-2010 15:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.
←Rate | 03-05-2013 16:13 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Cop to a hooker: What would your mother do if she seen you out here doing this? Hooker: She'd kill me, this is her corner.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 06:32 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had to explain to my brother that a milf is supposed to be someone else's mother..
←Rate | 07-09-2014 08:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please give your Mother's an Extra Big Hug tomorrow for those who can no longer hug theirs here on earth... Cherish the Moment.
←Rate | 05-08-2010 19:26 by justme Comments (0)  

   messageicon You don't have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up
←Rate | 02-14-2012 22:59 by @specialed40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother's Day, the celebration after those three little words..."I am late."
←Rate | 05-08-2011 18:43 by Mike D Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."
←Rate | 05-10-2015 08:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.”
←Rate | 07-02-2010 13:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does the weather man try and educate me on mother nature? Bro, just tell me pants or shorts tomorrow... hoodie or jacket...
←Rate | 10-02-2011 17:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in..
←Rate | 10-02-2012 09:34 by vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Looks like Mother Nature is pulling Winter's Band-Aid off one hair at a time!
←Rate | 04-14-2013 16:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother..
←Rate | 09-21-2011 20:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks shes wrong.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 04:38 by Reznor Comments (0)  

   messageicon “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
←Rate | 04-04-2012 21:50 by BEGO Comments (1)  

   messageicon Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 14:12 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

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