Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Upon stubbing my toe while at my parents house, I yelled out "Mother Fucker!" at that my dad responded "Present!"... as gross as that was, I had to high five him.
←Rate | 04-14-2010 16:06 Comments (1)  


   messageicon ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:30 by mickeybruce Comments (2)  


   messageicon If I place a call that is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes, I make sure to say mother%#&@er alot.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 15:41 by Ducky Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
←Rate | 01-08-2011 08:42 by Dany6814 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor because I own Band-aids.
←Rate | 05-08-2012 21:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.
←Rate | 03-05-2013 16:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend
←Rate | 05-06-2010 15:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cop to a hooker: What would your mother do if she seen you out here doing this? Hooker: She'd kill me, this is her corner.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 06:32 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to explain to my brother that a milf is supposed to be someone else's mother..
←Rate | 07-09-2014 08:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please give your Mother's an Extra Big Hug tomorrow for those who can no longer hug theirs here on earth... Cherish the Moment.
←Rate | 05-08-2010 19:26 by justme Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up
←Rate | 02-14-2012 22:59 by @specialed40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother's Day, the celebration after those three little words..."I am late."
←Rate | 05-08-2011 18:43 by Mike D Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."
←Rate | 05-10-2015 08:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.”
←Rate | 07-02-2010 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does the weather man try and educate me on mother nature? Bro, just tell me pants or shorts tomorrow... hoodie or jacket...
←Rate | 10-02-2011 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in..
←Rate | 10-02-2012 09:34 by vybe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Mother Nature is pulling Winter's Band-Aid off one hair at a time!
←Rate | 04-14-2013 16:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother..
←Rate | 09-21-2011 20:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks shes wrong.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 04:38 by Reznor Comments (0)  


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