father OR dad Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon saw the HILLYBILLY that won the lottery bought a new car - and transfered his bumper sticker "PROUD FATHER of my NEPHEW"
←Rate | 04-24-2010 09:07 by JDAUB Comments (0)  

   messageicon In these times, when a celebrity cheats on his wife with multiple women, he gets criticized and exploited everywhere. Back in the founding father days, a man cheats and his face ends up on the 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bill.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:12 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, “Daddy, what are you doing?” The father replies, “Making a baby.” The little boy says, “Well, do her doggie style! I'd rather have a puppy instead!”
←Rate | 05-28-2010 00:44 by Pacumbo Comments (0)  

   messageicon By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
←Rate | 05-29-2010 21:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
←Rate | 05-31-2010 20:11 by Tracy Comments (0)  

   messageicon i raised myself, Happy Father's Day to me
←Rate | 06-13-2010 23:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon flipping channels and saw a girl I hooked up with about a year ago on the Maury show talking about she had only been with two guys and she was 100% he was the father of her baby. It was hilarious! I stopped laughing when Maury said you are not the father
←Rate | 06-15-2010 21:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
←Rate | 06-16-2010 22:28 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thank you dad for not pulling out!! (to be used on father's day)
←Rate | 06-18-2010 02:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
←Rate | 06-18-2010 13:15 by H.RAYAT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dad, this Father's Day, allow me to point out that none of my messes cost 20 billion dollars to clean up.
←Rate | 06-18-2010 17:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
←Rate | 06-19-2010 15:10 by Chelsea Comments (1)  

   messageicon enjoying deleting friends on Father's Day. I'm pretending I'm disowning my children.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 07:18 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all of the guys who have a kid and don't know about it.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 10:16 by MatthewPacheco Comments (0)  

   messageicon so far so good.... no unexpected father's day cards or presents!
←Rate | 06-20-2010 15:40 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all the Dads who went out to get some milk, and actually came back home.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 22:06 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon a single father of about 4 million kids swimming around fighting to make it to their mother's egg
←Rate | 06-20-2010 23:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if Sugar Daddies get anything for Father's Day?
←Rate | 06-21-2010 00:13 by COREY Comments (1)  

   messageicon My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet
←Rate | 06-29-2010 08:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid, my father sat me down and told me he had some pictures to show me that would help me to remember to always wear a condom.... Funny thing is that all the pics were of me
←Rate | 06-29-2010 23:08 Comments (0)  

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