Friday Funny Status Messages

   usually enjoys Black Friday shopping after he's eaten a heapin' helping of baked beans and broccoli.

   Happy Friday!! And to all my Atheist and Agnostic friends out there... T_IF!!

   "6 packs of smokes. A case of beer. 2 box's of condoms. A lotto ticket & $2.00 gas on pump 8" ... Now thats a friday night thats ready for a good time but aint going far!!

   it's friday the 13th and storming. Not gonna lie, I'm half expecting Jason to come knocking on my door...

   3 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a wrench, and handcuffs made out of Twizzlers. I'm ready for bootycall Friday night to begin!

   It's FRIDAY!!! CARPE SCROTUM . . . seize the day by the balls!!!

   "Yesterdays history, tomorrows a mystery, and today is Friday"

   I see Black Friday is coming up and wondering who profits the most on that day? The people who are smart enough to stay home feeling thankful for everything they have the day after Thanksgiving?

   I'm thankful I won't have to go push and shove people on Black Friday the day after telling everyone on Facebook how thankful I was for everything I have.

   2 days ago: ''We must help solve poverty here first and foremost!'' Today: ''All right! Black Friday is coming!''. Morons

   I cant wait till black friday at the liquor store

   Sorry you're an athiest and have no one to thank it's Friday.

   X says Well, it's easy to tell I'm single. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...

   Corporate says we are having a half day at work today for 'April Day'. It's 2014, we can't even say Good Friday anymore? Society.

   SILF - Sorry Liver Its Friday

   I tripped over the "Hump" in Hump Day and landed face first into Thirsty Thursday. Time to pick myself and my drink up so I can fall into Friday.

   Will somebody let me borrow their Delorean to travel to friday already!

   Can you smell that? That's fresh-brewed coffee mixed with Friday...delicious!

   It's Friday, Saturday's less hungover neighbor.

   I've come to the realization that I have attained the pinnacle of middle aged complacency. My Friday nights are mostly spent with the remote in one hand, and my b***s in the other.