Momofthewildthings Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'Momofthewildthings': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 1

   messageicon I went to the Red Cross to donate blood and was refused. Something to do with my Vodka to Plasma ratio being to high.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 20:37 by momofthewildthings Comments (1)  

   messageicon If I select the "Advance Pat Down" option instead of the Full Body Scanner, do I get some Barry White music and a nice glass of Merlot?
←Rate | 11-23-2010 13:58 by momofthewildthings Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Thank You" is such an insignificant phrase, yet we put so much into it. When we say "Thank You" to a vet or active duty officer, what comes out is 2 simple words, but what is meant is a world of un-seen gratitude, hope, peace and safety. No, "Thank You"
←Rate | 11-11-2010 12:13 by Momofthewildthings Comments (1)  

   messageicon The Insomnia Train has arrived. I didn't want to board, but I was shoved. Now I'm sitting here, I have no clue where I'll end up and I don't like the company. I sure wish it was The Crazy Train instead.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 18:59 by Momofthewildthings Comments (0)  

   messageicon just got a letter from The Man in Red "You have been placed on the naughty list....permanently" I can't say this was unexpected.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 13:09 by momofthewildthings Comments (0)  

   messageicon I always laugh at myself. If I didn't, everyone else would be having fun without me.
←Rate | 01-18-2011 12:07 by momofthewildthings Comments (0)  

   messageicon MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!! The fact that you have a "Baby on Board" sign in your back window does not exempt you from getting your ass rammed if you insist on driving 55mph in the left lane...regardless of the posted speed. You have been warned.
←Rate | 11-10-2010 13:39 by Momofthewildthings Comments (1)  

   messageicon There should be a Breast Cancer Awareness T-shirt that says "Yes they're fake! My real one's tried to kill me!"
←Rate | 03-07-2011 12:19 by Momofthewildthings Comments (1)  

   messageicon I tripped over the "Hump" in Hump Day and landed face first into Thirsty Thursday. Time to pick myself and my drink up so I can fall into Friday.
←Rate | 06-02-2011 10:46 by Momofthewildthings Comments (1)  

   messageicon I really don't give a flying fig WHO is in the Super Bowl. I just want to know who's hosting the party.
←Rate | 01-24-2011 11:47 by Momofthewildthings Comments (1)  

   messageicon As I sit here eating Cheerios out of a plastic bowl, it makes me miss my kids in their toddler years. I think I'll get a High-Chair and make them eat dinner in it. I hope the weight limit is higher than 150lbs. Teenagers weigh a lot.
←Rate | 02-15-2011 13:57 by Momofthewildthings Comments (0)  

   messageicon not sure why I should care that Favre is saying he is finally going to retire. Really? Isn't like the 15 millionth time he's said as much? Hey Brett! Ever heard of the story about the boy who cried wolf?
←Rate | 08-03-2010 13:40 by Momofthewildthings Comments (0)  


[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left