sms Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'sms': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 2

   messageicon Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
←Rate | 06-04-2017 08:33 by Sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 11:33 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually officer, if you factor in the earth's rotation, we were all speeding.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:40 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please, write your comments down on the back of a $20 dollar bill and send them to me.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 11:41 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon am not single, I'm romantically challenged.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:44 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was young, we didn't have MTV. We had to take drugs and go to rock concerts.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:37 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning: Spelling errors in this message are the product of a poor school system. Pay teachures more than athletes.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 15:14 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never weed wack poison ivy in the nude.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:55 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Lawyer's Creed: "A man is innocent until proven broke."
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:35 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:38 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bad guys don't always wear black hats, the good guys rarely win, and the cavalry never, ever shows up just in the nick of time!
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:34 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:58 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a wrench, and handcuffs made out of Twizzlers. I'm ready for bootycall Friday night to begin!
←Rate | 11-19-2010 19:37 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always remember to pillage before you burn.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:47 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents
←Rate | 11-21-2010 10:48 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon The opinions expressed here are not those of my employer, my wife, my church, or myself... But they are the opinions of Elvis as revealed to me through the medium of my pet hamster, Lee Harvey Oswald...
←Rate | 11-20-2010 15:16 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. - Groundskeeper Willie
←Rate | 11-20-2010 15:13 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 02:18 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I think that if there were a third sex, men wouldn't get so much as a glance from me.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 02:23 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:39 by sms Comments (0)  



«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left