father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   I'm white, but not "know where my father is" white.

   Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been 35 years since my last confession, and I only ended up here because I thought it was the bathroom...Amen

   .. Turns out it's true that Malia Obama was smoking a joint .... But so what? .... What's the big deal ... Her father does it too.

   The United Kingdom just asked Donald Trump's father for a small loan.

   Just posted a hundred Father's Day cards, signed 'Your Secret Lovechild' to all the men in my neighborhood. Now all I have to do is hire a bus and pay a visit to the local orphanage to set Stage 2 of my plan into motion...

   Remember to wish your dad a happy Father's Day, as well as thanking him for not wiping you up in a tissue.

   Never knew if my father would hit us or the bottle!

   I won't believe Obama is black until he shows me his irresponsible father certificate.

   If on Father's day you don't post a picture of your dad carrying you as a baby, I'm not sure you really "love" him.

   In the rest of World When The boy meets the father its a Nice warm Welcome. In the south, The dad comes out with a gun and says boy you better treat my daughter right.(:

   Father's Day is the most confusing day in the Ghetto !!!

   LADIES: If your father is a poor man, it is your fate... But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity!

   The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is going to be born prematurely. Like father, like son.

   What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? “If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!”

   "Dad what's an infinite loop?"..."Ask your mother."... "Mom what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your father."... "Dad what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your........

   Happy Father's Day to all you mf'er's out there!

   enjoying deleting friends on Father's Day. I'm pretending I'm disowning my children.

   Nothing says Happy Father's Day like waking up next to a stripper and wondering if she actually has a father to celebrate the day.

   I'm not your Father but I can be your friend ( Heavy breathing ) - Step-dad Darth Vader

   Forgive me father, for I like sin.