Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Thinks we should we get MAURY involved to confirm Osama's DNA?!?!
←Rate | 05-02-2011 01:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the war on terror will never be won... because they hate us more than they love their children.
←Rate | 05-02-2011 09:54 by srpdrzman Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wish it was like the old days when the only thiing I had to worry about was the monster under my bed or which color I wanted to draw a picture
←Rate | 05-19-2011 21:34 by lex Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?
←Rate | 03-07-2011 13:38 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
←Rate | 03-14-2011 20:24 by the energy Comments (0)  


   messageicon MSNBC is reporting that iguanas and other lizards near Japan are showing signs of radioactive saliva during normal excretion. I told you Godzilla was coming didn't I!?
←Rate | 04-01-2011 12:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The flea market, but I don't call it the flea market. I break it down into sections. Little Mexico, The Illegal Purse District, Pirated Pathway, and Hot in the Shade.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 18:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd mind my own business if yours wasn't so damn interesting
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 14:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of ways I could care less is astounding!
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 21:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon IMAGINE if Facebook, Twitter, and msn all broke at the same time. We might have to actually get lives.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 22:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The truth is..." = "Here's a lie I've had some time to work on."
←Rate | 06-08-2011 12:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
←Rate | 09-01-2011 10:58 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when someone tags me at the donut shop and I am supposed to be running
←Rate | 09-03-2011 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really question the marketing tactics at Whosale Furniture Outlets. I've never heard anyone say "Oooh! A giant inflatable Ape!! I think I want to buy a couch!"
←Rate | 09-07-2011 12:05 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Learn to spell, Auto Correct isn't always write
←Rate | 09-26-2011 05:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Driving on the highway a guy walking on the side of the road gave me a thumbs up I guess he liked my car.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 17:00 by Lozo Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how sometimes you can just tell when someone's had enough of you for one day, so you back off and leave them alone? Me neither.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two winners for mega millions. One in Indiana and one in Michigan. I hope they both lose their tickets in the snow!
←Rate | 02-02-2011 05:48 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  




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