nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   There's a baseball team named the Giants (San Francisco), a football team named the Giants (New York)...yet there's no basketball team named the Giants...when in fact, basketball players ARE GIANTS!

   Rooney to move to arsenal? With that face, arsenal must be really willing to give up that beautiful football.

   we have some potentially severe weather headed our way this evening. please make sure you have your emergency kit: alcohol, lube, porn, blow up girlfriend, pain pills, heroin and a football helmet. Stay safe my friends!

   I don't even drink my first cup of coffee every day, I just pour it over my head like a football coach so everyone knows I'm here to win.

   if any body needs me I will be over here waiting for football season

   Preseason football is like watching the JV basketball team play before the Varsity.

   I refereed a women's football match yesterday. It was brilliant. I booked two for muttering under their breath, one for the silent treatment and I sent one off without explanation and left her wondering what she'd done wrong.

   Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.

   I really hope my fantasy football teams do well this year.... I need a resume booster.

   "There are no stupid questions" - People who have never tried to watch football with their girlfriends.

   Official Football helmet on Captain Video!

   Sunday night Football on NBC, Al thinks Chris is as gay as can be

   Somewhere out there a woman just called the football a “weird ball thingy” as a man sits nearby contemplating the consequences of murder.

   Ladies, your football knowledge is about the same as my interior design knowledge. Give it up...

   [tears open envelope] It's here! It's *really* here! The expressed written consent of the National Football League!

   Overview of my résumé: 1. Quick eater 2. Extensive knowledge of Parkour 3. Argumentative 4: Fired from McDonalds 5: Am I a multi tasker, (I can sneeze and pee at the same) 6: leading my Fantasy Football league..

   The Gladys Have Been Rebranded As The "VAGIANTS" Next Year They Will Be starting their first year in THE LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE

   free candy and football. my kinda Thursday

   If all he thinks about is sex, turn on a football game. Now he's thinking about football... And sex...

   :"SH! Football is on". ~ said no Girl ever.