life Funny Status Messages

   wondering if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

   Life is like toilet paper, your either on a roll or taking $hit from an a$$hole.

   Life is too short to buy a cheap toilet seat. Go ahead, get the good one, your a$$ deserves it.

   Don't you love it when you're ipod is about to fall, and your headphones saves its life.

   I hate when people tell you their life story against your will. I think it's a form of low level rape.

   When you say your life is a joke I really feel sorry for you because it's not even a funny one.

   Fellas: Make sure you always treat the women in your life with respect and dignity. From your grandmother, mother, sister to your girlfriend or wife, because a woman never forgets how you treat her.

   My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”

   Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.

   Be choosey about who you let into your life and be selective about who you let stay.

   When someone is bringing more sorrow than happiness into your life, it's time to show them the exit door.

   “When cops come to save your life, they don’t ask if you are black or white, they just come to save you!” -------- Rudy Giuliani

   So sick of hearing about Paula dean and gay rights and blah blah.. Let everyone live their life and be happy

   I Think there is in every girl's life a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.

   Well, in happier news, I was shocked to step from of the shower and find out I was out of deodorant---so I smeared a magazine sample of Old Spice "night life" under my arms until I get to the store...Macgyver ain't got nothin on me!

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one damn night!"

   Life is like a big fart........You come into the world, make a big stink, and then you just fade away!....

   S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life

   I feel sorry for people who get to the end of their life and realize they had wasted it trying to do what somebody else wanted them to do. Be your Truth, not someone's lie.

   guys, big red flag when a girl only life accomplishment is being a mom.