life Funny Status Messages

   I'm hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.

   Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.

   Life is a journey, with plenty of stops at the liquor store to make it bearable.

   Marriage: finding that special someone you want to annoy the rest of your life

   Someone was a horrible person in their past life.. and was then reincarnated as my liver.

   Don't let anyone with bad eyebrows give you advice about life

   Music is my Escape from all the Bullsh!t in Life!!!

   I think what I want most out of life is to die in my 90's owing a s**t load of money and shot by a jealous husband.

   “There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them

   Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.

   Sometimes life just needs a good, hard CTRL ALT DELETE.

   You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

   find that job you love and never work a day in your life

   I find humor in everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at

   Dear Life, You have some explaining to do...

   swears that about a third of my life is spent trying to remember why I have entered a room.

   Life sucks when a girlfriend doesn't

   Life Coach: Get out there and show the world what you’re made of! Gingerbread Man: Not sure that’s a good idea.

   Choose your ex wisely, they’ll be there for the rest of your life.

   Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...