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I don't appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
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20
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09-18-2010 20:37
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I wonder how police on bikes arrest people, "Alright, get in the basket."
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10-09-2010 20:13 by
Heather25
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2
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Karma Sutra: When fate f*cks you in all sorts of creative ways.
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04-16-2011 15:57 by
Gman
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0
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There is no straight way to wash a cucumber.
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02-13-2014 11:39 by
Baddie
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0
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Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.
51
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09-05-2014 15:03
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Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair.
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10-25-2014 13:18 by
Baddie
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If history has taught us anything, it's that reheated french fries are gross.
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11-07-2014 06:42 by
andrew jackson
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My son asked what marriage is like so I answered, "It's fine" and then gave him the silent treatment for three days.
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11-17-2014 23:42 by
StonerDudee
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Here's a crazy trick to avoid looking fat in pictures: Lose weight.
51
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09-23-2013 12:50
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Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
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10-04-2013 13:59
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0
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I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat.
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01-20-2016 09:34 by
snotty
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1
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I don’t think I meet the height requirement to ride your emotional rollercoaster
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06-19-2015 12:15
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My automatic ice maker has 2 settings... 1) Off....... 2) It's 3 AM & There's a Killer in the Kitchen
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07-19-2015 22:08 by
snotty
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0
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Being 'clean and sober' means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store.
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03-18-2014 13:47 by
Baddie
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FACT:There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’
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03-19-2014 05:36 by
Huck
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Having mutual friends with someone does not mean you should add them on Facebook. It's like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, "Hey we both know Mike, John, and Sara. You mind if I come in?"
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10-28-2012 13:45 by
Marshall the Great
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A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherf*cker.
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11-13-2012 16:38 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I'm not saying don't trust the internet but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I've won & the number of ipads I own
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03-16-2013 10:16
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Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it ''Decisions, Decisions''.
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09-25-2012 13:43 by
MWC
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0
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In 10 years I'm opening a lower-back tattoo removal clinic called 'Mom What's That?'
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12-28-2012 07:43 by
Huck
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0
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