santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Christmas - The time of year when you can get the whole dysfunctional family together under one roof!

   wondering what the hell Jesus ever did for Santa on his Birthday?

   How did I end up on the naughty list? I sold my soul to Santa as a kid for better toys. Too bad I'm dyslexic.

   Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!

   I put in an URGENT REQUEST to Santa last night for a mirror so you can locate that STICK that's UP YOUR @$S and REMOVE IT!!

   I'm finally opening my Christmas gifts. I have to hand it to my family, when you talk about recycling, they define the term. The boxes are old. I mean boxes with Christmas Seals on them from 1957 and held t

   If you include your kid's high GPA score in your Christmas letter grandma will be proud but everyone else hates you.

   ■I'm going to protect my statuses on Christmas this year so Santa can't “know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake.” Take that!

   I saw a Kenny Loggins "Christmas Time Is Here" CD in the discount bin. I looked at the track listing on the back and was disappointed not to see "Highway To The Manger Zone".

   wonderin if this will be the year. Santa hasn't visited me since I moved out the first time. Can't figure it out!

   Know what I going to Buy to My MAYAN friend for Christmas.

   Santa Claus uses slave labor. The elves are beaten every time a toy breaks. They have tried to organize, but Santa always sends in a goon squad to disrupt them. If you are against elf abuse and support their right to organize, please change your profile p

   does find it very funny that on the news they have immigrants who want to vote Tory !! just like turkeys voting for christmas ... they might aswell vote BNP !! buy hey , at least they won`t have to pay a higher tax rate !!

   learned that the best gift of chirstmas is seeing the disappointment in a childs face when you tell them santa isn't real.

   santa just touched my no no spot. :(

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a little sister to play with." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Sure, send me your mom and wait about 9 months."

   A nutsack is a guy's Christmas Ornament from God.

   I. really hate when Grandma gets me underwear for Christmas-they are always. " I Won't Get Caught Dead In Whitey-Tightys!"

   White Kid: For Christmas I got 500 dollars, a PS3, and an X Box 360/

   if anyone is still shopping for Christmas gifts, this week is "procrastinator's week"