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Why is it there's always "that guy" wearing a jersey to a NFL game when his team is not playing there?!?!?
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12-18-2011 14:06 by
WPollitt
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Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift.
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12-19-2011 11:10 by
@dj_soltrix
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You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing,
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12-19-2011 17:04 by
@OMG_Rel8able
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The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
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01-06-2012 15:51
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My good deed: Saw this homeless guy sign today, I was compelled by what I saw and immediately went to Walgreens to buy him a new poster and markers.....No one should have a sign that bad.
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01-08-2012 13:26
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It would be easier to keep my New Year's resolution to accept and forgive people if they'd stop being the same jacka$$es they were last year.
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01-15-2012 16:54 by
hihuggiehi
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What I learned from Movies: No matter how fast you run, a psychopath can catch up to you by walking slowly
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01-22-2012 20:59 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Every person who ever asked if they were bothering me was bothering me
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01-24-2012 11:48 by
flinnie
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I just saw a lady carrying a "Forever 21 bag should have been carrying one that says "49 and Still Clubbin.
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02-11-2012 19:53
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Feeling stressed about something? Ask yourself, “Will this really matter after I've had a few drinks?”
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02-19-2012 10:02 by
Czovczov
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My smart phone has a lot of capabilities, but none as valuable as being able to pretend I'm on it when I run into someone I know in public.
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04-19-2012 08:49 by
SEAN
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Unicorns aren't extinct - they just gained weight and are now called rhinos.
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05-04-2012 20:58 by
BEGO
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Would any respectable man tell ANYONE that he was roughed up by Justin Bieber?
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05-29-2012 12:57
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Dance like no one's going to put it on YouTube.
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08-24-2010 13:59 by
lemonpillow
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When you count, it's called push-ups. When you don't, it's called sex.
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08-25-2010 12:27 by
MBH
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Aside from ur face, what's ur problem!? ;)
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09-08-2010 15:25
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The most difficult foreign language to learn is 'Ozzy Osbourne'. I think they make a Rosetta Stone version for that.
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09-08-2010 18:56
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People keep telling me the right man will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.
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09-10-2010 04:04 by
manbearpig
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I don't really care about being judged...as long as its not by a jury.
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09-10-2010 13:32
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Just list United States first, Scroll Down Menu. I'm quite certain no one from Afghanistan is signing up for your email alerts.
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09-13-2010 17:51
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