santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I think Christmas must be near, The bin man said good morning to me.

   As a kid, did you ever see Santa claw himself down the chimney and make fun of your pyjamas? My shrink claims it never happened!

   Christmas is a race to seewhich gives out first your money or your feet. 

   I think I'm going to take my christmas tree down today.

   I wonder if Santa will be wearing a mask during his visit to my house this year?

   The After Christmas Diet: Breakfast: Leftover lasagna Lunch: Leftover lasagna Dinner: Leftover lasagna Dessert: Leftover lasagna Beverage: Fresh squeezed leftover lasagna

   Santa must think my name is Cole.......

   "stepping on a frog"just isnt that funny at Christmas dinner at the in-laws.

   In the spirit of the season Miley Cyrus has announced her plans for a television special where she will twerk to all of Bing Crosby’s holiday classics. NOW it feels like Christmas!!!

   Christmas Eve. As we they in San Francisco: May the corpulent bearded homo sapien in the scarlet suit smile upon your chosen shrubbery.

   I hate the smell of Walmart when I walk in. It smells like old beer and subway. Merry Christmas everyone!

   J ewish Santa is just like black Santa except one pinches pennies and the other pinches fat asses.

   You can't change ONE second of the past , and who knows what tomorrow will bring but today is the present , and presents are gifts we should all cherish !!

   asked Santa Claus for a boyfriend this Christmas... He gave me a rain check instead... lol :)

   Christmas Card $3.00 Brand new "Shrek" dvd $20.00 Gift wrap $2.00 The look of disappointment in a childs face when you tell them santa isn't real - PRICELESS !!!

   breaking news... sorry folks, christmas has been cancelled due to santa being fired for asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...

   says Happy Christmas to all Canadians and Marry Hanukkah to my fellow Americans.

   Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self-centered lives already in progress.

   Dear parents: Oh really? I'm a liar? What about the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus? Sincerely, your child.

   98 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTILL CHRISTMAS....YUK!