santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Since Jesus's birthday and Christmas are on the same day this year I'm only giving him one present.

   Great to be Catholic this month! We welcome a new Pope, plus we get three major religious holidays! Palm Sunday, Easter, and to kick it all off...the most important...St. Patrick's Day.

   Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas, Mommy and Daddy are mad. I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas 'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

   Let's start a post that will be positive . . . . What is on your Christmas wish list?? (in the real world, of course we'd all like more money, etc....)

   My dog wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Fleas Navidad.

   Xmas idea. Mistletoe tied to my belt buckle. Hope this works.

   My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge raclst, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was bIack - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

   I just found a Christmas present from last year for the kids....... should have seen their little faces when they opened it...poor little kitty!

   Christmas sure does smell a lot like weed.

   thinking the perfect holiday date for me this year has WELL HUNG stockings, a mistletoe belt buckle, nice christmas balls and NUMBA 1 SPOT on the naughty list.

   To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.

   On the 12th Day of Christmas Facebook gave to me,... 12 people I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 bad status updates, 9 Farmville requests, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites,... Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, ...4 m

   Donated blood for the needy since it is Xmas. Now I just have to find a Salvation Army bucket to put this Ziploc baggie in.

   To see my family over the holidays I have an appointment book. Just so there is no fender benders.......

   wake me up when is xmas over coz I cant afford buy any presents....

   Out of all of Santa's reindeer, the one that sounds most like a street name for crystal meth is all of them.

   Just went out to my neighbors front yard and wrote "Merry Christmas" in his yard by pissing in the snow

   U know you mexican when you wrap christmas presents with a knife instead of scissors.lol

   The hospitals are running low on plasma and need donations. Apparently people bought more TVs for Christmas than they expected so they need to make more.

   Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night.