santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   The More You Know: Jesus loved trees not cake, that's why on Dec 25th we have Christmas Trees.

   My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's really pissed that I beat him to it. Heck, I'm not stupid .... I put mine up three years ago!

   Why is "Children in need" always towards christmas time? Having to give gifts to the kids I already know is hard enough, but I have worked it out, their more happy with an empty box then the gift...

   Im Always Tree Shoppin Like Its Christmas

   Santa's reindeer, Donder? Didn't know that, though it was Donner

   Hey Lady, Please don't blame the Holidays ..... For Pete's Sake ..... You you were Fat in August!!!

   Based on some of the status updates I see my friends post, I think some of them should see if there is an after Christmas return policy on relationships.

   The EPA has placed sanctions on Santa for using such fossil fuels as coal and switches... The EPA has instead, mandated Santa use wind and solar.....In accordance to EPA regulation bad kids will now receive a hydrogen filled balloon and a match.

   Just a friendly reminder: There's 51 shopping days before Xmas. Of course according to the Mayans, the world will end in 48 days, so you decide…

   CLAUStrophobia = The Fear of Santa Claus !

   Setting here wrapping presents with one hand. If someone finds a band aid in theirs Don't touch it, I'm still waiting on them test results.

   From the Paris Climate Change Conference: Santa is required to put solar panels in the stockings of naughty kids.

   I think my neighbor it drunk, he is taking his Christmas lights down!

   Last year I asked Santa to bring me the sexiest person alive for Christmas and I woke up in a box. I guess I should have been more specific.

   I get fewer Valentines than Christmas cards. ....I got one Christmas card

   Just told my Secret Santa I ran over a bum in Vermont back in 1995 or is that not how it works?

   I don't hate you, but I hope you want an iPhone for christmas and you get the 5c.

   I'm having one of those "can't get my inflatable Santa-in-a-helicopter to stick to the roof of my inflatable manger" mornings.

   On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me: 12 Boy's I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvveeee DRAMA Queeeennnss; 4 game requests, 3 photo tags,

   Duck Commander releases new pen*s shape duck call just in time for the holidays.