Funny Status Messages
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In The Little Mermaid, the real reason Ariel wanted human legs was because Eric told her he doesn’t eat sushi. 
hitting higher highs, and lower lows
so lazy, she'll fight that little stone in my shoe till the end of the day.
could not take it anymore...I felt like the speaker was baiting me..so I threw my zima at his head and told them all...AA needs to tone this s***down a bit....and I left
...so the stumbling Cowboys play the bumbling Vikings on Sunday. Uh oh. Somebody gonna be 1-4.
secretly hoping the sex tape I made with Lois from Family guy is leaked to TMZ
freedom means to yell "Fire" in a crowded theater!
Why do Koreans fight among themselves? It must be hard because they all look alike so nobody knows who to shot whom.
This is amazing & really works with ANY age!! Take your age, add two, subtract two. THAT's your age!! CrAzY!!
Chick-Fil-A opposes same sex marriage but I heard their fries were waffling...
Not even a gun range has enough good guys with a gun to stop one bad guy with a gun!
Terrorists: 3 Industrial Accident: 15... sorry terrorists, but you lost this round.
So the pope is aborting his papacy before it reaches full term?
all that Tebowing didnt even get him into the super bowl
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder...
Are seniors from a church group in the hood submitting all these? or just the most moronic people new to the internet?
Why don't bald guys with beards just walk upside down?
Today is National Marijuana Day. A day when…uh…wow, Wolf Blitzer is SO funny.
LIKE IF you hate when you're listening to the radio, and every radio station is on commercial.
Jani Lane, lead singer of Warrant found dead. Cause of death unknown at news time but witnesses report heavy cherry smell in the air. Guess heaven wasn't too far away. 