Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Well, like I said to my television the other day watching Brandon. How can these people be so stupid?

   as often as SCIENCE changes its mind its hard to see truth in anything it says...

   What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common, By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have is a Hot Stinky Box to throw your bone in.

   Osama Bin Laden has updated his facebook status. The FBI has left the afganistan/Pakistan border and is now searching for him in Farmville.

   Pope Benedict XVI to resign because he "no longer has the strength to fill the hole of a boy's orifice"....Sorry... I meant fulfill the roles of his office

   Like if you think unemployed poor people are mean, unlike if you think affluent people are vicious.

   How come only women get Fibromyalgia? Is it a make believe condition like PMS??

   The U.S. always has an agenda when they enter a country. For example, oil in Iraq. I think the agenda in Syria is to ensure Israel's safety.

   We need to build some hydroelectric dams and harness all these tears from Republicans. Every crisis solved.

   It's Friday 13th. I think I'm going to break a mirror, walk under a ladder, let a black cat walk past me, open an umbrella indoors, spill some salt, wear a hat to bed, step on a crack in the sidewalk.... then call somebody I hate and see if she wants to

   Facebook Trick! Press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Enter then left click Then Scroll Up And Down up & down and magic circles will appear! lmfao! To stop this - refresh your page THIS WORKS - TRY IT! THEN COPY & PASTE THIS TO YOUR S

   I throw my can up in the air sometimes saying AYO where out of beer YO..

   wishes all the mourners outside Amy Winehouse's home would please form a line? After all it's what she would've wanted.

   I'm not an alcoholic! I just walk around with a mouthful of whiskey, so if someone says something stupid I can spit and light their face on fire.

   I hear drinking wet cement can get you really stoned!!

   I made a playlist for when I go hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it Trail Mix.

   these statues suck.how about some jokes guys

   The way Fox news channel distorts the news they should change their name to FAUX NEWS :)

   Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back.

   I have lived through death of Michael Jackson, first black president, Royal Wedding and Osama's death. My life's a fuc?ing history book.