Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Paula Deen loves fried chicken but she don't like no dark meat!

   Im 100% convinced, the Coronavirus is nothing but a l*beral plot to take down Trump. I hate libt*rds so much!

   they found the body of the guy who stole all the celebrity's nude photos. Apparently he has been high fived to death.

   As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice.

   says learning Linux isn't just easy, it's fun, too! Actual shell commands: "unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; umount; sleep"... ahhh the subtle beauty of UNIX.

   - Ok, so you say I shouldn't drink and drive. I understand that part, but then how the f*#@ am I supposed to get home?

   I am drawn to people that seek the truth, but avoid those that profess to have found it. Take a hint preachers.

   I going to wear my Pinocchio G-string underwear to bed..... and tell my wife to tell me lies,,,,,,, tell me sweet little lies!!!!!!!...I will let you know how it goes.... LOL :-)

   missing the way things were...where the F is that time machine?

   as seen on TV

   Hey you looney liberal... if that hooker says she'll give you an "Obama" for $20, she means she'll be happy to take a sh!t your face.

   cutting your brakes

   Jury Duty is where the government calls you when they want and says, "Hey Bro, we need you to solve a murder, here's $15.00."

   I hate when my dog stares at me while I'm having sex. That's why I bang him from behind.

   Cain's plan: Nine, nine, nine. OBama's plan: none,none,none.

   making the sun shine

   knows that arguing with you is like running a race in the Special Olympics, you might win but in the end your still a retard.

   Good girls bend @ the knees.. Bad girls bend @ the waist..

   NFL RULES..... should just accept the the fact that nobody outside USA cares about a game where you run and carry a ball dressed in more padding than a Telly-tubby. :)

   I'm searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool... to poke a Hontas.