Otis Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
←Rate | 08-04-2017 17:56 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon nearly 500 million eggs recalled, I'd hate to be the guy who has to put them back in the chickens.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 08:48 by otis Comments (6)  


   messageicon Social Security checks are go paperless. Cause if the is something senior citizens are good at it's online banking.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 07:34 by otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Deep thoughts by Johnny Quarantine. Minnesota votes to disband police department and go with a community-based public safety program. I’m assuming this community-based public safety program will be comprised of police officers who recently lost their jo
←Rate | 06-09-2020 04:48 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the recent out break of Norovirus. Royal Caribbean will be changing ships name to Exploader of the Sea.
←Rate | 01-29-2014 18:53 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Packers did a discount double choke on Sunday
←Rate | 01-19-2015 13:03 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any hedge can be a maze if your drunk enough.
←Rate | 04-15-2013 08:12 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ''K'' instead of ''Okay''?
←Rate | 10-21-2013 08:57 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer was arrested Wednesday for domestic violence, according to reports. Let's see, we have Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice and now this idiot accused of domestic violence. Is this a running back thing?
←Rate | 09-17-2014 20:56 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon says, if Renea would just watch porn with me, she would understand why I made her buy roller skates and why we have 20 gallons of chocolate pudding in the fridge
←Rate | 08-24-2010 08:20 by otis Comments (1)  


   messageicon I know I’m getting old when playing the stock market is more fun than playing a video game
←Rate | 02-06-2020 11:41 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not want to get the Coronavirus that’s why I switched to Modelo
←Rate | 03-01-2020 13:20 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to start a Go Fund Me account to sponsor any Coronavirus infectious people to pay them to go hug a politician
←Rate | 03-11-2020 11:18 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I got the decorations out of the attic yesterday REAL spiders started coming out of the containers.... Well played Halloween, well played.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 11:57 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't be impressed with technology until I can download beer.
←Rate | 08-10-2014 15:23 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Photo bombing is all fun and games until terrorists start doing it.
←Rate | 07-13-2014 22:59 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon caught sticking sharp metal objects into the wall outlets. Now I'm gounded.
←Rate | 04-25-2011 15:59 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does Obamacare and Obama's NCAA bracket have in common? They are both busted.
←Rate | 03-31-2014 09:12 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Apple makes the iphone larger, the ipad smaller (ipad mini) why not just switch names on them and call it a day?
←Rate | 10-22-2012 07:48 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr says my cholesterol count is so high that... I can't even say "cheese" when I get my picture taken.
←Rate | 07-17-2015 15:27 by Otis Comments (0)  



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