Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Getting shot is my 2nd amendment right.

   Casey Anthony is still a MILF.. The 'M' just stands for Murderer.

   Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus

   I propose that Jesus must have been a Zombie. Lets look at the facts: He came back from the dead, He wants you drink his blood and also eat his flesh so that you have ever lasting life. Or maybe... a vampire-zombie? Hmm... futher study is needed.

   Common sense is like deodorant... The people who really need it never use it.

   In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

   trying to get your attention with this damn message!

   the walrus

   just turned water into kool-aid. Your move Jesus

   thinking 'if girls had 'mute' buttons!!'

   If being gay was so wrong, then why didn't it make it onto God's top 10 list?

   I'm going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837

   big in Japan

   and Fabio are now friends.

   would like to inform facebook that it FAILS at "Change". 0bama could use the same advice too.

   Donald Trump....Going to Make America White Again

   So if Jesus sees his shadow when he comes out of his cave can we finally have spring?

   # He's done the lease amount of leading, and the most complaining then all the previous 44 leaders before him put together.

   I'm getting a pet dog & cat and I'm gonna name my cat 'Waterfalls'. This way everytime my dog is chasing my cat, I can say "Don't go chasing waterfalls!""

   with the girl next door