friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   On Friday nights I visit a club so exclusive nobody else knows it exists. It looks bizarrely like my living room & needs new cleaning staff.

   Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....

   Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up, on brain-dead zombies. Hang on. Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".

   just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.

   So let me get this right, the government is going to shut down Friday at midnight, and our soldiers will not get paid. The idiots in congress will still get their money? Where is the sense in that?

   i would like to thank you people for letting me know its friday every week its thoughts like this that keep me on facebook.

   Every terrorist, "OK, OK EVERYBODY CALM DOWN, WHO HERE HAS SEEN WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S??"

   Ok great name for a band .".Half Price Drinks" how can you not pack them in on a Friday night with that name on the sign out front

   Wife quote of the weekend: "I can't believe Kim Kardashian is making 2 million dollars off her wedding, and all I made was 2 kids and my father really mad." Thanks, honey, it's all been magical for me too...

   Camping out for black friday is a fun way to prepare for your impending homelessness.

   Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up, on brain-dead zombies. Hang on Hang on..... Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".

   Why does Jason kill on Fridays when ppl are just starting their weekend? Why can't he wait til Monday mornings when everyone hates their lives

   For sale by owner complete set of encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

   ☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar *´¨`*:.☆ HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!

   Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

   Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving facebook emails after a weekend of drinking that says "you have been tagged in a photo"

   Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.

   : Forecast for the weekend - On Friday, mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement close to midnight on Saturday. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.

   Why is that the world is always going to end on a weekend? Why not Monday morning, ideally before I have to get up and go to work?

   Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...