Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm a little bit hungry. I could eat a pony

   has finish with the Wild Turkey on the rocks for lunch, and moved on to Grey Goose straight up for Thanksgiving Dinner. this is just Fowl

   When it comes to rotating the view of a picture or PDF, every bit of my sense of clock-wise or counter clock-wise goes right out the window.

   has served enough burnt offerings at dinner that my husband is beginning to think he's a god.

   ..doesn't understand people who say "by now.." As in "by now you should have children,.by now you should be married..by now you should.." Sorry but if "by now" i'll "pay later".

   I've bin so stressed lately I can't wait to get home and "bust a nut" and by "bust a nut" I mean I hope the wife bought pistachios!

   wonders why when I see a pregnant woman and her man I picture them having sex???

   thinks we will soon know if Al Gore still believes in cap and trade after divorce redistributes HIS wealth

   I am standing out in the wind with my pants down and letting the wind blow me! Don't Judge me!

   Today I didn't even have to use my A.K. / I got to say it was a good day.

   Santa better take me off the naughty list or I will black out the moon on Monday night.

   Any relationship before marriage is just training.

   So windy in New York, the Statue of Liberty has been caught doing Marilyn Monroe impressions.

   Accidentally ran over a guy and I stopped to call the ambulance but then I saw his ponytail. Now I'm treating myself with ice cream.

   "Together forever" said no sock ever.

   JAB: Well now that there is a prince of Cambridge, I am going to have to claim prince of Somerville before someone else does. .

   I qonder if Shamu and Orca get jealous of Shark week

   My dad used to beat me with a camera. I still get flash backs

   Oh no Chris from Kriss Kross died... You know the 90's rap duo that wore their clothes backwards.... I guess it's down to only Kross Dressing. That's wikkity wikkity wikkity wack!

   It could be worse. Kanye and Kim originally wanted to name the kid Wild Wild.